Is This The End Of Earth As CERN Prepares To Fire?

The title was just to get you to take a look at this next story ;) THE END IS NEAR!! Is that just a few scared scientists panicking, or a legitimate concern as the CERN collider prepares to smash atoms like no other collider has done before. I am excited at the potential discoveries, and less than overwhelmed by the minimal prospect of it creating a black hole that will swallow the Earth.
Besides, how could "god" allow the Earth to be swallowed by a black hole, before O.J. Simpson is found guilty of Robbery/Kidnapping? He wouldn't!!
The story at Yahoon News, by Alexander Higgins, an Associated Press Writer states:
The world's largest particle collider passed its first major tests by firing two beams of protons in opposite directions around a 17-mile (27-kilometer) underground ring Wednesday in what scientists hope is the next great step to understanding the makeup of the universe.
After a series of trial runs, two white dots flashed on a computer screen at 10:26 a.m. (0826 GMT) indicating that the protons had traveled clockwise along the full length of the 4 billion Swiss franc (US$3.8 billion) Large Hadron Collider — described as the biggest physics experiment in history.
"There it is," project leader Lyn Evans said when the beam completed its lap.
Champagne corks popped in labs as far away as Chicago, where contributing and competing scientists watched the proceedings by satellite.
Five hours later, scientists successfully fired a beam counterclockwise.
link to full story

Four Things to Know About The Bridge To Nowhere

Here is a story I was just reading at Yahoo News, by Jonathan Allen and the "four things you need to know" when talking about the "Bridge To Nowhere".
Have a good day!!
p.s. It is Day two in O.J. jury selection in his Robbery/Kidnapping trial :)

One of the most arcane elements of the lawmaking process has burst into presidential politics as the two campaigns wrangle over earmarks - the narrowly-targeted spending and tax breaks lawmakers include in legislation, usually to help local constituencies foot the bill for projects.

The overwhelming majority of the projects in any given year are not controversial. In the past, that has been because so many are for widely-acceptable causes such as medical equipment at hospitals and because there was often a great deal of attention paid to concealing those that might become controversial.

Although Congress' appetite for earmarks has drawn increasing criticism in recent years, very few of them ever became the subject of vigorous public debate, and the infamous "bridge to nowhere" at the center of much of the current presidential campaign is one of a kind in terms of notoriety. Though anti-earmark crusaders have mostly focused on appropriations bills, the largest earmarks have often been written into tax or authorization bills. The "bridge to nowhere," for example, was in a highway authorization bill.

The presidential campaigns have been trading barbs over earmarks lately because Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, Republican John McCain's vice presidential running mate, has been patting herself on the back for "stopping" the "bridge to nowhere," and the campaign of Democrat Barack Obama has cried foul because she once supported the project.

Here are four things to keep in mind when you hear about the "Bridge to Nowhere":
The Story of a Bridge Too Far
The planned $223 million bridge connecting Ketchikan to the tiny population on Gravina Island was originally included in a 2005 reauthorization of the nation's surface transportation laws. It was one of two bridges that were initially referred to as the "bridges to nowhere."
The bill's chief author was Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young, who was chairman of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee at the time. The two bridges, totaling nearly half a billion dollars, were not the only goodies for Alaska.
Young rewrote the formula by which the Alaska Railroad gets mass-transit subsidies and hid the new language under a section headed "technical amendments." Instead of getting money based on its passenger load, as other mass-transit systems do, the Alaska Railroad now gets federal cash based on the number of miles of its track - a formula that will be more costly to the federal government over time than the onetime installment of the "Bridge to Nowhere" and which encourages Alaska to build more miles of track to get more federal money. An untrained reader of legislation would have had trouble deciphering the language.
The "bridges to nowhere," however, were plain to anyone who bothered to look at the legislation. That must not have included the many lawmakers who voted for the transportation bill only to later raise an uproar over what they deemed to be wasteful spending. Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma moved to strip funding for the bridge from an appropriations bill later in 2005 but was stymied by Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens and most of the rest of the Senate. Despite the negative publicity, the Senate decided the project should move forward.

But that decision was reconsidered by a House-Senate conference committee a few weeks later. Ultimately, the negotiators struck a deal later that year in which Alaska would still get the money but it would no longer be "earmarked" for - or specifically directed to - the "bridges to nowhere," either the one connecting Ketchikan with Gravina Island that remains famous or one in Anchorage called the Knik Arm Bridge. Instead, under the law, that money would be "made available to the Alaska Department of Transportation and Public Facilities for any purpose eligible."
Palin Campaigns for It, Governs Against It
Contrary to most recent reports on the subject, Palin did not switch from proponent to opponent when Congress removed the money specifically for the bridge. In fact, she continued to say she would build the bridge in 2006 as she campaigned for governor, long after it was no longer necessary for Alaska to spend the money on the project.

It appears that she wanted to appeal to voters in that part of the state by promising to give them the money their federal legislators already had secured for them.
"Part of my agenda is making sure that Southeast is heard. That your projects are important. That we go to bat for Southeast when we're up against federal influences that aren't in the best interest of Southeast," Palin said in October 2006 -- nearly a year after Congress removed the requirement that the money be spent on the bridges -- according to the Ketchikan Daily News.
"We need to come to the defense of Southeast Alaska when proposals are on the table like the bridge and not allow the spin-meisters to turn this project or any other into something that's so negative," she added.
While Congress voted to strip the requirement that the money be spent on the bridges, it did not preclude the state from building them. However, as governor, Palin wanted the money to go elsewhere. The project met its official end in Sept. 2007.
"After taking office and examining the project closely, she consistently opposed funding the 'Bridge to Nowhere' and ultimately canceled the wasteful project," Palin campaign spokeswoman Maria Comella told Politifact, a fact-checking venture jointly operated by the St. Petersburg Times and CQ.
Opposition to the project certainly created an atmosphere in which it would have been an uphill battle for Palin to press forward after she took office. But ultimately it was her call to leave the bridge unbuilt.
Sending It Back? Not a Chance
Palin has said "I told Congress 'Thanks. But no thanks' " with regard to the bridge. But Congress already had given the Alaska government the money to spend as it wanted. She said 'no' to a bridge that she wasn't required to support. She said 'yes' to the money.

The Obama campaign and media fact-checkers have taken Palin to task on her claim.
But from a practical standpoint, no governor in his or her right mind would take a $400 million-plus blank check for transportation projects -- a funding level determined in large part by a formula designed to ensure that each state gets its fair share of federal highway money -- and send it back to Washington rather than spend it on higher-priority plans. Technically, such projects are treated more as a line of credit than a check, but that's a little beside the already highly hypothetical point.

From a legal standpoint, it would be difficult to take the money out of Alaska. It would require an act of Congress -- as it did to de-earmark the money and make it a general fund for use by Alaska rather than a specific earmark for the bridges.
Occasionally a state or locality will give up project money because, for one reason or another, the project is clearly no longer necessary or viable. When that happens, Congress must act to take the money and put it into another project, often as part of a "technical corrections" bill, for it to be used by another jurisdiction. Otherwise, the money goes unused.

The state or locality could not simply use it to build a different road, because the law dictated that it be spent for the project originally specified.
The money for the "bridges to nowhere" is unique in that it is available to Alaska for any project. Even if Palin could turn the money back to the Treasury -- and it is unclear that she has any explicit authority to do that -- it would simply get parceled out to projects in other states.
Most of the money comes from Alaska's share of a carefully crafted federal formula intended to ensure that states get their fair share of transportation money.
Flip-Flop Yes. Lying About Opposition? No. Lying About Stopping the Bridge? No.

The Obama campaign, columnists and fact-checking organizations have had a field day ripping Palin alternately for flip-flopping or for not opposing the bridge. Of course, both can't be true.
Late Monday afternoon, the Obama campaign released an ad, called "No Maverick," quoting a New Republic blog that called Palin's claim that she "stopped the bridge to nowhere" a "naked lie." The phrase was part a two-sentence post on the New Republic's Web site with no back-up for its claim that it was a lie.

Earlier in the day, the Obama campaign was calling Palin a flip-flopper.
"Reality: Palin was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it," said a fact-check document produced by the campaign.
However, logic suggests she was either against it at some point or she couldn't have flip-flopped. While Palin did flip-flop, she ended up firmly against it. And while there may have been other contributing factors, it is not inaccurate for Palin to say she "stopped the Bridge to Nowhere."

And that is the story of the "Bridge to Nowhere"!!

Jury Selection Begins In O J Robbery Case

O.J. Found GUILTY!! Oh sorry, just daydreaming the headline that I hope to see, after this latest trial is over!
The next chapter in the O.J. Simpson saga is getting under way in Las Vegas today, as jury selection begins in his next trial. I am smiling as I write this, because anyone who has read my earlier posts on O.J., knows that I do not give him the presumption of innocence on anything. "If he gets in trouble, he did it"!
I believe he is a double-murderer, who got away with it due to racial backlash, and his celebrity status. Therefore, anytime he gets into trouble for anything, I "hope" he is found guilty, and I really do not care if he is actually guilty or not, as long as there is "some" minimal payback for the earlier "murders". I realize that this makes me closed minded, but I am only that way on some things and this is one of them.
Seriously, how can there be 12 people, plus alternates, who do not already have an opinion of whether or not O.J. is guilty! If there are, how do they function in life?!

Anyway, with Sarcasm dripping from my every pore, here is the story of the soon to be found "guilty"(I hope), alleged robber/kidnapper, O.J. story at Yahoo News:

Nearly a year after O.J. Simpson walked into a casino hotel room intent on reclaiming some sports memorabilia, he and his lawyers walked into a courthouse Monday to pick jurors for his robbery-kidnapping trial.

After a morning hearing on remaining pretrial matters, prospective jurors were led into the courtroom and given an overview of the case, including the charges against Simpson and co-defendant Clarence "C.J." Stewart and the names of potential witnesses.

Judge Jackie Glass rejected a request by the defense to be allowed to ask potential jurors if they consider the fallen NFL star, actor and advertising pitchman a murderer.

"My determination is no, we are not going there," Glass said, noting that questionnaires filled out by prospects had asked whether they were familiar with Simpson's other trials and the verdicts in them.
link to full story

Opening Kick-Off A Holy Day For NFL Football Fans

As we gather on this "holy" day (opening kick off) as the NFL Football season begins I wanted to share these very appropriate words for us Football "Idiots" , and wish you and your teams many happy games!!

Words can not describe how excited we are that football is around the corner. While everyone is sad to see the summer start winding down, that sadness is tempered by the fact that on Saturdays and Sundays for 4 months (5 if you count the NFL playoffs) we can turn on the TV or head to a stadium and revel in the joy that is football.

Football is a uniquely American game - with huge men fighting over precious territory, trying to advance a weird oblong ball. It inspires us to wear jerseys in public and scream at the top of our lungs. We wish ill will on opponents and cheer when the opposing team's quarterback is flattened. We root passionately for people we will never meet, many of whom represent cities that we do not live in - or rarely visit.

It’s an escape from reality. Watching a football game you can day dream that it's you that scored the winning touchdown, or that your boss is the receiver stretched out over the middle and you're the strong safety that's about to level him.

Football games are events you plan all week for -- there are few things better than getting together with friends in a parking lot to grill meat, drink beer, and talk about how your team is going to kick ass in just a few short hours (note - this no longer applies to SU). It's a time when guys argue about whether Brady fumbled or if Franco caught the ball. It’s a time to call your friends who disagree with you idiots and truly mean it. It’s a time of anticipation, because you never really know when the next Appalachian State type of upset will occur.

Sundays are worshipped at the alter of the NFL. Sundays are when your friends come over, you scream at the TV, eat big huge spreads of food and check your parlays and fantasy football results. Sundays are also for treks to the sports bar or restaurant that has the Sunday ticket because your game isn't on and missing it isn't an option.
Sundays in the fall are when you can get lost and forget that in a few short hours you'll be back at your desk killing time until next weekend. Sundays start with college highlights from the day before, and end with NFL highlights from that day – and in between, there’s nothing but glorious football.


Best WIshes from "three idiots on sports" and Hooray Football Is BACK!!

Obama Sits Down With O'Reilly

I saw a small portion of this several part interview, with the first nights emphasis on National Security issues, and Senator Obama acquitted himself quite well, in the face of Bill O'Reilly's questioning. I hope the rest of the parts will be as interesting as this one.

This story was at Bloombergs' online site:
Barack Obama said the surge of American forces in Iraq has ``succeeded beyond our wildest dreams,'' though Iraqis still haven't done enough to take responsibility for their country.

``The surge has succeeded in ways that nobody anticipated,'' Obama, the Democratic presidential nominee, said in a recorded interview broadcast tonight on Fox New's ``The O'Reilly Factor'' program.

Obama has come under repeated criticism from Republican rival John McCain for opposing President George W. Bush's decision last year to send 20,000 extra combat troops to Iraq. While Obama said before that the additional forces have damped insurgent violence, his comments on the program were some of the strongest he's made on the issue.

The Illinois senator, who has promised to pull most U.S. combat troops out of Iraq within 16 months if he's elected president, repeated today his call for Iraqis to take more control of their own nation. ``Understand this, the argument was and continues to be when are we going to turn over responsibility to the Iraqis for their own country,'' Obama said during a campaign stop in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
McCain's Night
Obama's interview aired on the same night that Arizona Senator McCain gave his nomination acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota.
McCain, 72, has argued that the Iraqi government needed a substantial and sustained increase in troops to help establish its own security authority throughout the country. ``I fought for the right strategy and more troops in Iraq, when it wasn't a popular thing to do,'' McCain said tonight.

Obama, who has made his early opposition to the Iraq War a key part of his campaign, was among Democrats in Congress who spoke out against the troop increase and predicted it would fail to end the violence.

Anthony Cordesman, an analyst on Middle East security at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, today challenged Obama's remarks that ``nobody'' expected the surge to succeed so well. ``There was a very clear military plan that set clear goals,'' Cordesman said. Success wasn't ``a certainty, but it also certainly wasn't by any stretch of the imagination something based on dreams and goals that nobody could have anticipated would succeed.''

Most Violent
Anbar province, once Iraq's most violent region, experienced on average two attacks a day in the four months ending May 31, according to the U.S. Defense Department's June 30 quarterly assessment of Iraq. For the four-month period ending Nov. 10, 2006, before Bush ordered the troop surge, Anbar experienced an average of about 41 attacks a day, the highest in Iraq, according to the Pentagon.

Bush, in announcing the troop surge in January 2007, said the Iraqi government by November 2007 would take responsibility for all 18 provinces. On Sept. 1, Bush said Iraqi authorities had taken over security control in Anbar.
Obama today defended his opposition to the surge when pressed by O'Reilly to say he was ``wrong.'' ``There's an underlying problem with what we've done,'' Obama replied. ``We have reduced the violence, but the Iraqis still haven't taken responsibility.''

Highest-Rated
Obama has appeared 10 times this year on the News Corp.- owned cable station's interview shows. Today marks Obama's first appearance on ``The O'Reilly Factor,'' the highest-rated cable- news program.
The first-term senator was also asked about Iran, Pakistan and capturing Osama bin Laden.

Obama said he ``absolutely'' believed the U.S. is in a war against terrorism and identified the enemies as al-Qaeda, the Taliban and ``a whole host of networks that are bent on attacking America who have a distorted ideology.''
Iran also is a ``major threat,'' he said, though warned against the danger of lumping different groups together as a common foe. Obama said it would be ``unacceptable'' for Iran to obtain a nuclear weapon. ``It would be game -changer,'' he said. ``I would never take a military option off the table.''

Military Force
When pressed as to whether, if elected, he would prepare for possible use of military force against Iran, Obama, who has repeatedly called for greater diplomatic efforts with Iran, said it wouldn't be ``appropriate'' for someone who might become president to start ``tipping their hand in terms of what their plans might be with respect'' to the country.
Obama said he ratchet up pressure on Pakistan to take a more aggressive approach toward weeding out terrorists, including bin Laden.
Right now, Obama said, Pakistan is using U.S. military resources ``with no strings attached.''
``They are preparing for war against India,'' he said.
Obama, 47, said the Bush administration ``wasted'' $10 billion with Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, who was forced to resign last month after 17 months of political protests and violence. The U.S. failed to hold him ``accountable for knocking out those safe havens'' for terrorists, Obama said.

Reaching an Audience
Obama's appearance on the O'Reilly show came as the presidential contender is wooing independents and Republicans. Fox is a good venue because many swing voters watch, and the network likely would have high viewership during the Republican convention, Obama adviser Robert Gibbs said. ``It makes sense to talk to all of your audience,'' Gibbs said. While some Democratic candidates criticized Fox's primary- campaign coverage, Gibbs said ``we think we can get a fair shake.''

Fox News topped this week's ratings with its Republican convention coverage, beating Time Warner Inc.'s CNN and NBC Universals MSNBC. About 9.2 million viewers tuned in to Fox last night to hear a speech from Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, McCain's running mate, according to Nielsen Media Research. The night marked Fox's highest-rated convention telecast ever in cable news and the third-biggest audience since Fox News began in 1996, according to the network.

The interview with Obama followed a meeting earlier this summer between Obama and News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch, who built Fox into a top-rated news channel in less than a decade, and Roger Ailes, the chairman of Fox News.
Obama, who resisted for almost a year O'Reilly's calls to appear on the program, expressed concern in the meeting about the coverage he was receiving on the channel, according to the Washington Post.
Ailes says he told Obama that Fox wasn't boycotting or retaliating against him, the newspaper said.
To contact the reporter on this story: Kim Chipman in St. Paul, Minnesota at kchipman@bloomberg.net .

Have a Great Afternoon!!

Hump Day Humor Final Bumper Sticker Edition

Happy Wednesday evening and a Hump Day Hello. Thursday is my only day off, so tomorrow is my "weekend" rest day, and I cannot wait. Anyway we are nearly to the end of the Bumper Sticker posts, and so I shall leave these with you this evening, and will bid you adieu until Friday.

I get some weird and off beat catalogs, and a couple of them are the ones with the clever, funny, stupid slogans~~like bumper sticker type slogans, and the ones on t-shirts, so I thought what the heck, it is extremely slow at the Coral Ridge Mall, so why not find the best ones, and do a series of posts. I decided to break it up as it got kind of annoying reading through the whole list.
So here is part 12 in the series, and always if you have one that is not on the list, please send it to me at danielcarvelkepler@yahoo.com, or post it in the comments. Thanks:



The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

IRS: Be Audit You Can Be

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount!

(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.

I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.

A day without sunshine is like night.

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

Old age comes at a bad time.

If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car?

In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute?

Part 13

I need someone real bad. Are you real bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

The more you complain the longer God makes you live.

I R S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Out of my mind - back in five minutes.

Without ME, it's just AWESO.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Life would be easier if I had the source code.

Hang up and drive.

Nebraska: At least the cows are sane.

God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.

Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.

I fish, therefore I lie.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

If catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Honk If you want to see my finger.

God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

Keep honking while I reload.

Part 14
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her (or something like that).

Constipation causes people not to give a crap.

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.

What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0!

Driver carries no cash. He's married.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.

If I get you advantage, can I take drunk of you?

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol!

So you're kids no honor student. Society needs laborers.

Honk if you hate peace and quiet.

I have the body of a god. Buddha.

And Here is the last and Final Part of this series~~~unless and until there are some "new" ones.
Part 15

In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

Your stupid!

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Don't bother honking or flashing your lights, I'm deaf and blind.

Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

If it isn't broken, fix it until it is.

Thank God I'm an atheist.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

New Mexico: Cleaner than regular Mexico.

Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

If you're happy and you know it see a shrink.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

Worry. God knows all about you.

I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop!

Vote Democrat - it's easier than working!

Vote Republican - it's easier than thinking!

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

Squirrels: Nature's speed bumps.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.




And that was Part 15, thanks for reading.....I hope you find some that you will be recounting to others, or actually buying the bumper sticker, and putting it on your vehicle. To all of those people who put bumper stickers on your vehicles, thanks for the informative, and often amusing slogans. We have a lot of time sitting at red lights, or in road construction, and reading your bumper stickers is often the only thing there is to do. Thanks for defiling your vehicle just for us;)

Have a Great late Wednesday and all day Thursday!!

Take Care!!

U.S. Allies Angry At Anbar Handover

Yesterday we saw the handover of the Anbar province region of Iraq to Iraqi forces, and there was rejoicing on two sides of this three sided area. I was just reading this story at Time onnline, which indicates that the Sunnis who helped quell the violence are opposed to this turnover, and feel like they have been thrown aside for political expediency.


The story at Time By Rania Abouzeid in Baghdad reads:
Anbar province was once one of the most violent and volatile regions of Iraq, accounting for hundreds of U.S. casualties. On Monday, however, the province — quieted by the U.S. military in alliance with Sunni tribal sheiks, the so-called Sunni Awakening or Sahwa movement — was turned back to Iraqi government rule.

Washington may be glad to hand over the formerly al-Qaeda infested area and the Shi'te dominated government in Baghdad happy to receive it. But not everyone is celebrating. A leader of the Awakening movement narrows his eyes and tightens his jaw at the idea of the U.S. hand-over. "We wanted it to be postponed but the decision had already been made by the government and we cannot change it," says Sheikh Mohammad Mahmood al Natah, the spokesperson for the Awakening Council. The hand-over, originally scheduled for June, took place on Monday, making Anbar the 11th of Iraq's 18 provinces, and the first Sunni region, to return to the central government's control. It's a measure of the growing security gains in the war-scarred country, but simmering intra-Sunni tensions in Anbar are bubbling.

Only a handful of the 40 or so Awakening leaders attended the ceremony in Ramadi, a snub that Sheikh Natah says was intended as a clear message to the government. At heart is a power struggle between the Awakening council and the Iraqi Islamic Party, made up of Sunni exiles who are allied with the Shi'ite prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki. The party holds 36 of the Anbar council's 41 seats. Those posts are up for grabs if a slow-moving electoral law is approved by Iraq's bickering parliamentarians and the provincial elections that were slated for October take place later this year.
Unlike the last time around in 2005, the Sunni tribal elders are eager to contest the polls, and say they wanted U.S. troops to remain in Anbar until after the elections to help ensure a free and fair ballot. They also want their key ally, police chief Major General Tareq Youssef al A'sal al Dulaimi, reinstated to the position he was ousted from just a few days ago. (Dulaimi was removed for unspecified "administrative" reasons.) The Awakening members say Dulaimi's sudden removal, which was approved by the Interior Ministry, has cemented their fears that their local Sunni rivals in the Iraqi Islamic Party are maneuvering to gain control of Anbar's 28,000-strong police force and purge it of tribal loyalists.

They say Dulaimi's replacement, Riad al Karboole (who will his assume his duties after the hand-over) is an Islamic Party man, and they fear the police force will be infiltrated by their extremist Sunni enemies. "If the Islamic Party continues to pressure the government to remove the Awakening members from the security forces ... then there is a high likelihood that Anbar will return to violence," Sheikh Natah says.

The Iraqi Islamic Party dismisses the sheikhs' concerns. "Some people make accusations without solid evidence," says Omar Abdul-Sattar, a parliamentarian and the Islamic Party spokesman. Abdul-Sattar says that the decision to remove Dulaimi was a done deal between all of the various factions in Anbar, including the tribes, as well as the central government. "This is old talk, Tareq al A'sal has been replaced by consensus," he says.

But the Awakening members don't see it that way. "The tribes are angry with the government's decision," says Colonel Jubeir Rashid, the security adviser to the Awakening Council and a member of the Anbar police force. Tribal elders see Dulaimi's removal as part of a wider government crackdown against the Awakening Council and the Sons of Iraq, the 100,000-strong, largely Sunni former militiamen who are each paid a monthly stipend of $300 by the U.S. to help keep the peace. In the past few weeks, the Iraqi army has moved against the groups in Diyala province, detaining several leaders, and disarming and dismantling several of their checkpoints. There are reportedly plans to detain hundreds of Sons of Iraq members in the coming weeks.

Anbar's tribal leaders say they feel threatened. "Our reward for defeating Al Qaeda is that we've been sidelined," says Sheikh Hamid al Hayess, a senior member of the movement. "We are sensing a change toward us," says Colonel Rashid. "The government should help us, not try to break us with its decisions."

Is this going to turn into another "Mission Accomplished" moment, that will need to redone in a few months or a year! We really need to listen to the people who are actually responsible for the "success" that we now see in this and other areas of Iraq, or we will never get out of this messy war!

History Of Labor Day And The Mall Is Open :)

It is another working Labor Day for many of us, and in particular people who work in the Coral Ridge Mall, in Coralville, Iowa. The mall is open 10am to 7pm, and as I write this at 12:55pm the mall is getting very busy, so it may be a good day for retail, and I just made my first sale. It was a small sale, but a sale nonetheless. So if it gets too warm out there, please stop by the mall, and see us, as many of the retailers are running sales. The more you buy, the more you save! :)

Here is a brief history of Labor Day from the History Channel, with links to their website, where photos, videos, and more information is available for those interested in the meaning of the "real" day, instead of just the day off, barbecue, beer drinking day, that most Americans recognize.

As the Industrial Revolution took hold of the nation, the average American in the late 1800s worked 12-hour days, seven days a week in order to make a basic living. Children were also working, as they provided cheap labor to employers and laws against child labor were not strongly enforced.

With the long hours and terrible working conditions, American unions became more prominent and voiced their demands for a better way of life. On Tuesday September 5, 1882, 10,000 workers marched from city hall to Union Square in New York City, holding the first-ever Labor Day parade. Participants took an upaid day-off to honor the workers of America, as well as vocalize issues they had with employers. As years passed, more states began to hold these parades, but Congress would not legalize the holiday until 12 years later.

On May 11, 1894, workers of the Pullman Palace Car Company in Chicago struck to protest wage cuts and the firing of union representatives. They sought support from their union led by Eugene V. Debs and on June 26 the American Railroad Union called a boycott of all Pullman railway cars. Within days, 50,000 rail workers complied and railroad traffic out of Chicago came to a halt. On July 4, President Grover Cleveland dispatched troops to Chicago. Much rioting and bloodshed ensued, but the government's actions broke the strike and the boycott soon collapsed. Debs and three other union officials were jailed for disobeying the injunction. The strike brought worker's rights to the public eye and Congress declared, in 1894, that the first Monday in September would be the holiday for workers, known as Labor Day.

The founder of Labor Day remains unclear, but some credit either Peter McGuire, co-founder of the American Federation of Labor, or Matthew Maguire, a secretary of the Central Labor Union, for proposing the holiday.

Although Labor Day is meant as a celebration of the labor movement and its achievements, it has come to be celebrated as the last, long summer weekend before Autumn.
link to history channel site

New NFL Rules Include Coin-Toss Choice

I was just reading this NFL rule change story at Yahoo Sports News, and wanted to pass it along to other football fanatics out there.
The NFL decided last April to allow coaches to make a choice if they win the coin toss at the start of the game—take the ball or defer to the second half, just as they do in college.
It takes effect when the Redskins visit the Giants Thursday night in the season opener, one of several new rules for the 2008 NFL season.
In the exhibition season, most teams have done it the old way—they have chosen to take the ball. But that may have been because coaches wanted to look at their offenses quickly so it could change when the games count and they decide they’d like to start the second half with offenses on the field.
“I think there are some advantages to deferring but we have played in an awful lot of games where, when we win the toss, we take the ball and we have done well in a lot of those games as well,” New England coach Bill Belichick said when asked why he took the ball at the start of Thursday’s game.
“I don’t know if there is anything to getting the ball and having first crack at it or giving it up and having that first possession in the second half.”
The coin toss deferral is one of several new rules, most of them geared to defense after a decade of rules that generally helped the offense.
They include:
— Giving designated defensive players a radio in his helmet, allowing coaches to relay defensive signals just as offensive signals are relayed from offensive coaches to the quarterback.
— Eliminating the 5-yard penalties for incidental face masks. Only the 15-yard penalty for grabbing and twisting the mask will be enforced. In addition, officials will be on the lookout for offensive players who latch on to the face masks of defenders in an effort to take them out of plays.
— Eliminating the force out rule. In the past, officials could rule a receiver whose feet had not touched in bounds had made a catch because a defensive player had forced him out. Under the new rule, a receiver must land with both feet in bounds regardless of whether or not he is hit while in the air.
“We feel that with so many levels of judgment that go into the force-out call, it creates a more consistent play when either you get your feet down for a complete pass or you do not,” says Atlanta president Rich McKay, co-chairman of the competition committee, which proposed the change.
— Extending instant replay to cover field goal and extra points and illegal forward handoffs. One reason the rule was added was a play at the end of a game in Baltimore in which Phil Dawson’s 51-yard game-tying field goal attempt for Cleveland bounced off an upright, then off the support behind the crossbar. Officials first ruled it no good because they thought it had hit the crossbar, then conferred and made the correct call.
The Browns went on to win in overtime.
— Muffed snaps will now be in play if they are not touched, allowing the defensive team to recover. In the past, they were ruled a false start.
Happy Football Season~~~We are definitely "READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL"!!! :)

Who Is Sarah Palin Is The Question As I Endorse Putin

Anyone but Manchurian McCain has been my refrain for the entire length of the contests, as I was for Fred Thompson, even though he was only in it for minute, and proved to be nothing like his image on television. I have come to this endorsement after little deliberation or thought, other than "will this be amusing?"! Since Fred bowed out, I have pretty much been for the darkest horse of them all, a man who isn't an American citizen, and as far as I know doesn't even have a desire to run for "our" presidency. He is in fact the ruler of Russia, one Vladimir (in charge by any title) Putin.
He has brought Russia back like no one since Stalin could have done. He kept what worked of a semblance of democracy, and went heavy handed on the rest to place Russia back on top of the pile of "powerful" nations, that need to be reckoned with over issues great and small, with the latest demonstration in Georgia just two weeks ago.

Now pretty much everyone who knows me, will understand that I am kidding in a way, though the desire to have that kind of power in one person is appealling (for me anyway). Russia has a Duma, where we have the Congress, but truly the only real power is wielded by Putin, unlike here, where everyone has to get in on the act, instead of just doing what needs to be done to fix our problems. So in that respect I envy Putin for having the power to fix things, which he has done, even if liberties are taken. Hell, they have been taken away here as well, and we don't even have a shining economy and a huge surplus to show for it.

Anyway on to the "real" story of the day, which I was just reading at Yahoo News:
John McCain's risky choice of Gov. Sarah Palin gives him a running mate who doubles down on his maverick image, may appeal to "hockey moms" and other women, and counters Barack Obama's aura of new-generation change. But he may have undercut his best attack on the Democrat.
If Obama is an empty suit, as McCain has suggested, is Palin suited for the Oval Office herself?
She is younger and less experienced than the first-term Illinois senator, and brings an ethical shadow to the ticket. A governor for just 20 months, she was two-term mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a town of 6,500 where the biggest issue is controlling growth and the biggest civic worry is whether there will be enough snow for the Iditarod dog-mushing race.
"On his 72nd birthday, is this really the one-heartbeat-away he wants to put in the White House?" said Rep. Rahm Emanuel, the No. 3 Democrat in the House. "What does this say about his judgment?"
It says that McCain wanted to add a reform-minded politician to his ticket, and an abortion opponent to boot. It says he needs more women to back him over Obama, who just welcomed a passel of Hillary Clinton voters into his fold but remains shaky with white males. And, finally, it's a recognition of how vulnerable McCain is despite polls showing it's close.
He put his money down on a darkhorse to try to change the race.
link to full analysis

Obama And Biden Heading To Pittsburgh

Well, it is one convention down, and one to go, as the first Black Presidential Nominee begins a "historical" journey toward the White House. Whether or not you support Barack Obama, it is definitely an exciting time to witness some of what Martin Luther King saw as a possible future for black citizens.
Perhaps this will ease race relations somewhat, though there will always be some white supremacists who will not accept a black man as their leader, but this history making journey is not for them anyway.
I am still not totally sure who I am leaning toward, though Vladimir Putin is still high on my list. He is a strong leader, with a true vision of where to lead a country, and we certainly could fix the Constitution, to allow him to run if he so desired. Anyway, that is just wishful thinking, as I am sure he is too busy "running" Russia, to even entertain the thought of running for President here;)

Anyway, back to the real news today. I was just reading this story at Yahoo News:
Their raucous convention in Denver over, Barack Obama and Joe Biden head to Pittsburgh today to start a Midwest bus tour through Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan.

The goal is to ride the momentum of a convention that culminated with an energetic speech before 84,000 people at Denver's Mile High Stadium.

The Democratic nominee promised to cut taxes for nearly all working-class families, end the war in Iraq and break America's dependence on Mideast oil within 10 years.

Obama says a McCain administration will be four more years of the current Bush White House, and that in November Americans must say "eight is enough."
He's promising to end what he calls eight years of broken politics and "failed policies of George W. Bush."

Republican John McCain sought to upstage his rival today by tapping little-known Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Obama leaves the convention city of Denver as the first black man to be nominated for president by a major political party. The 47-year-old Illinois senator won over the party faithful — even some die-hard backers of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton — but the broader electorate awaits.
link to full story

Olympic Gold Medal-Winner Returns Home

We'll get to the reaction to Hillary Clinton's speech last night in another post, but more important than that is the return "home" of our "cool" Iowa Olympian, Miss Shawn Johnson. She did take gold in the all-around, but she acquitted herself very nicely anyway, with one gold, and three silver medals!! Welcome Home Shawn~~and start preparing for 2012.

The story at Yahoo Sports News reads:
The story, as told by Shawn Johnson, goes like this: She was headed to David Letterman’s show Monday from Chicago when the airline reported a problem.

Apparently, the pilot had an incident when he heard Johnson was on his plane.“I guess he just like freaked out and hit his head,” Johnson said Tuesday to a crowd of thousands in her first appearance back to her hometown. “They had to take him to the hospital for stitches.”

The hysteria continued Tuesday night at the Wells Fargo Arena, where the gold-medal winning gymnast was feted with a reception worthy of a rock star.

Johnson, 16, won one gold and three silver medals at the Olympics. Iowa has seen Johnson in several iterations: her ever-present grin at the Beijing Olympics, a bronze sculpture in the Iowa Hall of Fame, and an all-butter representation kept in a cooler at the Iowa State Fair.
link to full story

Russia Ignores Agreement As Russia Lawmakers Recognize Breakaway Regions

In several stories that I have been reading around the internet it has become obvious that the Russians have absolutely no intention of doing anything to abide by their agreement, beyond what "they" wish to do.
This incident has shown the world that Russia will not sit by, as "We" encourage their former republics to join NATO, place missiles on their doorsteps, and injure their interests in "their" part of the world. Their Putin doctrine, is similar to our Monroe doctrine, and should be considered in everything we do to or with Russia.

Bush has turned a formerly docile ex-Cold war enemy, into a resurgent Cold war II enemy, all because we poked our finger in the eye of the Russian bear at every opportunity, and made sure they wallowed in their failure, as we rejoiced in our victory over them. How nice, and now we shall have to decide if we really want to continue down this path, or try something less drastic, to try and keep them as less then an enemy, even if they can never be friends.

The tragedy of this latest incident in Georgia is that if we intend on making Russia and enemy once again, then we messed up, as we should have at least lent enough assistance to bloody the Russians nose. Now I am not advocating that course of action, but obviously those in power want to Russia as an enemy, so they should have at least let them "know" that "We" would not allow them to act as they did without military repercussions.

Today the story at Yahoo News, has the Pentagon saying that Russia is still not honoring its ceasefire agreement with Georgia and continues to maintain a "large presence" of troops in the former Soviet republic.

"They are still not living up to the terms of the ceasefire agreement" which Moscow signed with Tbilisi more than a week ago, said Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman.

"They are failing to live up to and honor the terms of the agreement," he said, adding that "there continues to be a large presence of Russian forces in Georgia."

Pressure has steadily built on Moscow, which sent tanks and troops into Georgian territory in response to a Georgian offensive on August 7 to retake the breakaway region of South Ossetia, to adhere to the French-brokered peace agreement.

Russia withdrew tanks, artillery and hundreds of troops from their most advanced positions in Georgia on Friday, saying it had fulfilled all obligations under the agreement. But as of late Sunday Russian troops still controlled access to the key port of Poti located south of the Moscow-backed rebel region of Abkhazia, and had established other checkpoints around South Ossetia, where the conflict began.

European countries on Monday urged Russia to reject calls to recognise the independence of two Georgian breakaway regions, warning it would only ratchet up tensions in the battle-scarred region.

France, which announced it will convene a special European summit on the crisis in Georgia on September 1, expressed "concern" Monday about reports of looting, intimidation and destruction of homes in South Ossetia.


It is being reported that minutes ago, Russia's parliament unanimously approved resolutions on calling for the recognition of two rebel regions of Georgia as independent states, a move likely to worsen already strained relations with the West.

Both houses of Russia's parliament, controlled by Kremlin loyalists, swiftly endorsed non-binding resolutions urging President Dmitry Medvedev to recognize the pro-Moscow breakaway regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia.
link to full story

You Are Invited To Join The MURDEROUS MIDWEST MILITIA Football League

Good Morning!! It is getting close to draft time for Fantasy Football, and I am still looking to fill 6 team slots, on my free league. I thought that Yahoo Sports handled it if the league was not full, but they do not.
So please drop me an email at danielcarvelkepler@yahoo.com, if you would like to join and I shall send the invite link to you, OR
Here is the link and the information to join, and if you do not have a yahoo i.d. you can register for FREE, so you can sign in to the league and create your team. If you have any problems, just email me!! Thank You!!
League Name: MURDEROUS MIDWEST MILITIA
League I.D.:292116
Password: MELISSA
Link:join daniel carvel kepler's custom league


If you are not interested, but know someone who would be, please pass on this information to them. Thank You and Have A Great Sunday!!

Daniel

Obama Picks Biden W T ?

I was drinking last night celebrating my birthday and this news came out that Senator Joseph Biden was Barack Obama's pick for his Vice-President, and I just thought it was the debilitating effects of Seagrams 7, and having worked 11hours, and having been awake for 22 hours, but upon awakening the news was the same.

I know there must be others out there who are shaking their heads, and saying "What The #$%^ was he thinking"!
Don't get me wrong, I think Biden is an amiable guy, who is like a lot of "us" pontificating, longwinded know-it-alls, who just happens to be a Senator, and has a forum to ramble. However, I just do not understand how this man can assist Obama in any area besides shoring up his "military and being tough on crime" credentials. It may help if McCain picks the original Stephen Douglas, and Biden can debate him like the old days for hours on end, as Biden would be able to out talk pretty much anyone.
Oh by the way, I did support Senator Biden for President in 1988, as I thought he was the best candidate, and then the whole lifting lines from Nile Kinnick flap occurred and ended that run.
I am perplexed and hope that the Obama supporters out there can explain to me how this helps anyone, but the morons like Rushie Limbaugh, Manchurian McCain, and others who wanted Biden to be the "one"?!
It is also perplexing that for all of the talk of unity and support by Hillary Clinton, she was never even vetted as a "possible" running mate, so that makes Obama appear a bit disingenuous as well, though I wouldn't hold that totally against him, because Hillary would have brought many issues into the race that they wouldn't have wanted to bring in, i.e. Bill's library donors, and other things from "their" days in the White House. Even so, who wouldn't rather trade the Clinton years for the Bush years, anyday. Well besides the obvious, Haliburton, Blackwater, et al., and other "looters" of the Treasury!
Anyway this should be an interesting race, and now we'll wait to see McCain's pick.

The story "of the day" is at Yahoo News and reads:
Democrats coalesced around Barack Obama's selection of Joe Biden as his running mate on Saturday while Republicans quickly seized on the Delaware senator's past criticism of the presidential candidate's inexperience. Former rival Hillary Rodham Clinton, an also-ran in Obama's search for a vice presidential choice, called Biden "an exceptionally strong, experienced leader and devoted public servant." Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the Obama-Biden ticket will bring the change the country needs, including a filibuster-proof Senate majority.

The campaign of Republican rival John McCain wasted no time, immediately producing an ad featuring Biden's previous praise for McCain and comments critical of Obama from an ABC News interview last year. Biden had said he stood by an earlier statement that Obama wasn't yet ready to be president and "the presidency is not something that lends itself to on-the-job training." "There has been no harsher critic of Barack Obama's lack of experience than Joe Biden," McCain campaign spokesman Ben Porritt said in a statement. "Biden has denounced Barack Obama's poor foreign policy judgment and has strongly argued in his own words what Americans are quickly realizing — that Barack Obama is not ready to be president." Some of Biden's Republican colleagues in the Senate praised the Delaware Democrat, including Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana. Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., called Biden "the right partner for Barack Obama" and the decision "good news for Obama and America."
Obama and Biden were set to meet for an afternoon rally in Springfield, Ill., in front of the old state Capitol where the Illinois senator kicked off his presidential campaign nearly 20 months ago.
link to full story

Another Working Birthday:) !!

It is another working Birthday, and I would like to invite anyone
coming to the Coral Ridge Mall, Coralville, Iowa, to stop by
the SmartArt kiosk (between Bennigans and Chik-fil-A, just outside
the Target doors) and say hi!!

It should be a Huge Weekend, as the Univeristy of Iowa college
students have one last weekend off before classes begin on
August 25th!!

Welcome one and all!!

Take Care!!

Happy Birthday Me ;)

p.s. I shall try and do more posts today, however the internet
connection is horrible today. I have been trying to post this for over
an hour already?!

Day After Hump Day Humor 21st Of August

I have not been able to do much yesterday or today. I had yesterday off, and spent it in bed resting my very sore back, and today I received 80 pieces of art, which I am trying to arrange properly, so here is a little "humor" to get us through the rest of today!! Thanks and have a Nice Thursday Evening ;)


Cow Joke
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head.

Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear.

The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder.
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Thrill of the Chase
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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Bird Hunting
Two drunk men were out bird-hunting. Suddenly, one of them said, "Hey! I see two birds!"

"Well, shoot then,"said the other man.

"But which one do I shoot?"

"Hmm...take another drink,"the other man said, handing him the bottle.

"Hey! Now I see three!"exclaimed the man.

"Good. Shoot the one in the middle."
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Bovine Chat
Buttercup and Daisy were chatting as they chewed the cud.

- "Ere, have you heard about this mad-cow disease?"

- "Yes, sounds nasty."

- "I'm glad I'm a chicken."
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Strange Problem
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
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Ultimate Question
Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.

They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, "IS THERE A GOD?"

Suddenly there was a loud crash, and in a brilliant explosion of silicon and plastic the computers fused into what appeared to the scientists to be one large computer in place of the many smaller ones.

One of the scientists raced to the printer as it finally output its answer. "There is now", read the printout.
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Loud, Mad, Or Sad
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
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Wife Wanted
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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Tiny Lizard
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

"Tiny" replies the man.

"Why's that?" asks the bartender.

"Because he's my newt!"
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Salespeople
How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
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Mistaken Identity
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God again and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."
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Chicken Farmer
An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.

A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.

Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens.

"I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."
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Airline Fixes
I have a friend who is a very nervous flyer. During a recent trip he took from California to Indiana, it didn't help that his connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems.

Then, after he was aloft, he noticed the cabin lights were flickering. Losing his peace of mind, he decided to mention this to a flight attendant.

"I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights.

A passenger across the aisle who had been watching my friend leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."
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What Really Matters
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach.

"Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
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Driving Instruction
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it.

I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20 mph for it to start.

She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off. I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions.
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Mental Hospital
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
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Thong Cure
An Indian consulted his medicine man about a pain in his stomach that had persisted for three months.

"For something as long as that," said the Medicine Man, "I have a more drastic remedy than the herbs I normally prescribe. Chew on this leather thong every day. It is 31 inches long: chew one inch every day, and at the next moon come back."

The Indian dutifully did as directed, and at the next moon he returned to the Medicine Man.

"How do you feel?" the Medicine Man asked.

"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
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Cloudy Clothing
What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderware.
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Kid Bites Back
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
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Harvard Grads
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were all excited and talking effusively as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston.

After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?"

"Yes Sir! Class of '94!" they answered proudly.

The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of '58."
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Tech Support
Customer: "One of my friends gave me an ImageWriter printer and this keyboard. He said he gave me all the cables, but I can't figure out how to connect them. Am I missing something?"

Tech Support: "Well, a computer would help."

Customer: "You mean this keyboard isn't a word processor?"

Tech Support: "No ma'am, its just an input device."

Customer: "Then I need to buy a computer, right?"

Tech Support: "Yes."

Customer: "Do you think I'll need a monitor, too?"
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Computer Instructor
Well, I had one event happen to me, where one lady had just bought a Apple IIc and complained that she was having problems with her monitor, so we told her to bring her monitor in, and we'd check it out.

So she brings her monitor in, and we plug it in, and it works without a flaw. We tell her that the monitor isn't the problem, and to bring her CPU in.

She stares at us blankly, and asks, "What's the CPU?"

Joe explains that it's the piece of equipment that all your devices plug into. So about twenty minutes later, she returns and walks in carrying the surge supressor.

When we explained to her the item that we needed her to bring in, she replied, "Oh you mean the keyboard!" (On Apple IIc's, the CPU box and keyboard are part of the same unit.)

And to make this all the more interesting, she was a gradeschool computer class instructor.
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Don't Look At The Light!
Customer: "My mouse doesn't work any more."

Tech Support: "Is it an optical or ball mouse?"

Customer: "Huh?"

Tech Support: "Does it have a ball or light?"

Customer: "It has an light on top."

Tech Support: "On top?"

Customer: "Yeah. It was underneath before, but it looks better when it's on top."

Tech Support: "Ok, try turning it around so the light points down on the desk."

Customer: "Oh! It works!"
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Horrible Addiction
I think it's a chilling reminder of my mortality, that I am never more than a few hours from that grisly implosion of a death known as starvation. No matter how much I eat, before long the cravings resurface, and the withdrawal symptoms ravage my innards.

"I am Snook Draddots," I would say, were my name actually Snook Draddots, "and I am a food addict."

It's a sad story, but it's true. I was a food baby, in fact. My mother was using when she was pregnant with me. I've been on food ever since. It's wrecked my life.

For my first fifteen years, I experienced rapid weight gain, and the digestive symptoms that persist to this day are too unpleasant to discuss. I've been unable to quit. The patch -- where you duct tape some potato salad to your arm every morning -- doesn't help at all.

One time I had a 16 hour flight across the Pacific, during which time I ate nothing that could be remotely described as food, but I fell off the wagon shortly after landing.

But enough is enough. I've come to an epiphany about just how much I've let food run my life for me, and it's time for that to stop. No more food for me.

I'm quitting food cold turkey.
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Rules Of Driving
- Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

- Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

- Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

- Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.

- Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.

- It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach.

- Remember that the goal of every good driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

- Real female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye makeup, and balance the checkbook at seventy-five miles per hour during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
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Top Ten Signs Your Co-Worker Is A Hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.

9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running.

8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.

5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez," 95 times during the movie, "The Net."

4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.

3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.

2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."

1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, fool."
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Truth In Politics
It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"

The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!"

The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"

"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.

"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!"

The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"

After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle.

Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle. "Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."
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And Finally For Cat Lovers (and No I am not one of them:)
- Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

- Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.

- Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

- Cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

- Cats know what we feel. They don't care, but they know.

- Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.

- Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

- Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

- I had to get rid of my wife. The cat was allergic!
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Take Care!

Shawn Johnson Gets Her GOLD

We finally get to congratulate our Iowa beauty Shawn Johnson, for winning Gold!! It is nice to see, after all she has won 3 silvers, and she has shown poise and grace throughout!! She hopefully will have a chance for more Gold in 2012, but the story today is Gold on the beam!! Congratulations!!

From Yahoo Sports:
Shawn Johnson finally got her Olympic gold medal in the last event of the women’s competition Tuesday night, the balance beam.

Johnson, bothered by a headache before the competition, nailed her routine that is chock-full of difficult tricks, earning a 16.225. Her grin was a thousand times wider than the 4-inch-wide beam she had just conquered.

“This is what we expected to see,” her coach Liang Chow said. “The thing I really am pleaed with is she was a little under the weather and she still was able to do a wonderful routine.”
link to full story

Musharraf Bows Out In Pakistan

In a month of surprises, there is one more occurring today, as President Musharraf of Pakistan resigns his office.

The story at Yahoo News states:
Nearly nine years after he seized power in a bloodless coup, Pakistan's beleaguered President Pervez Musharraf has decided to call it a day.

Dressed in a dark suit and looking sullen, the former army chief announced his resignation in a hastily arranged live televised address. "I hope the nation and the people will forgive my mistakes," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Every decision I made was only with noble intentions."

Musharraf maintained his composure, but occasional flashes of indignation underscored the fact that the decision to step down was hardly his alone. It came days after the four-month-old coalition government decided to seek Musharraf's impeachment and the country's four provincial legislatures overwhelmingly passed what were in effect no-confidence votes against the President. Musharraf, a former commando who has braved two wars, was plainly reluctant to surrender, but the prospect of public humiliation at the hands of his political opponents proved decisive. "The coalition has decided that I am part of the problem and not the solution," Musharraf conceded in his speech. "I could fight back and answer back, but that may have led to deepening uncertainty."

link to full story and slideshow

Phelps Makes It 8 Gold Medals

A huge congratulations to Michael Phelps today, as he becomes the "Greatest" Olympian of all time, and surpasses Mark Spitz, with a record 8 gold medals. I have not written anything about Phelps, because I believe in "jinxes" and did not want to have to backpedal from heaping glory on this amazing athlete. It is also "cool" that he seems to be a nice guy, and that in itself is kind of rare in top athletes.
This Mr. Phelps proved his Mission was Not Impossible, and we were witnesses to this amazing feat~~~How Cool Is That!! :)

Anyway the story of the "century" is from the Associated Press, at Yahoo News and reads:
Michael Phelps locked arms with his three teammates, as though they were in a football huddle calling a play, then hugged each one of them.
It took a team to make him the grandest of Olympic champions. And one last big push from Phelps himself hard right to the end of a mesmerizing nine days in Beijing, Phelps helped the Americans come from behind Sunday in a race they’ve never lost at the Olympics, cheering from the deck as Jason Lezak brought it home for a world record in the 400-meter medley relay. It was Phelps’ history-making eighth gold medal of these games.
“Everything was accomplished,” he said. “I will have the medals forever.”

Phelps sure did his part to win No. 8, eclipsing Mark Spitz’s seven-gold performance at the 1972 Munich Games.
Aaron Peirsol got the Americans off to the lead in the backstroke, but Brendan Hansen—a major disappointment in this Olympic year—slowed them down with only the third-fastest breaststroke leg.
By the time Phelps dived in for the butterfly, the U.S. was trailing Australia and Japan. That’s when he really went to work.

With his long arms whirling across the water like propellers, Phelps caught the two guys ahead of him on the return lap and passed off to Lezak a lead of less than a second for the freestyle. The Australians countered with former world record-holder Eamon Sullivan as their anchor.
“I was thinking not to blow the lead,” Lezak said. “I was really nervous.”
Sullivan tried to chase down Lezak and appeared to be gaining as they came to the wall, but Lezak finished in 3 minutes, 29.34 seconds—Phelps’ seventh world record in his personal Great Haul of China.
link to full story