CIA Gets Smart Ideas From TV And Movies;)

I was just reading this quaint story at Yahoo News, about the CIA getting some of its' gadgets from television and movies, and thought it might be needed information for those like me, who fill their brains with trivia~~just in case it comes up in Trivial Pursuit or Win A Million games :)

It reads:
As Seen on TV
Maxwell Smart always "missed it by that much," but some of those dopey spy shows of the '60s were right on the money. "Many of the devices first seen in movies and on TV actually came about," says Robert Wallace, former head of the CIA's covert skunk works, the Office of Technical Services. "Remember the Cone of Silence? We built shielded enclosures that did the same thing. And the pen communicator in The Man From U.N.C.L.E.? That evolved, 10 years later, into short-range agent communication." Wallace, who was basically the agency's real-life Q, reveals these gadgets and more in his new book, Spycraft, the first comprehensive look at the technical achievements of American espionage from the 1940s to the present. "Here's the laboratory," Wallace used to tell new recruits. "The only thing that is going to limit what you can do is your imagination." It seems they took him at his word.

1940s Cigarette gun
Lipping this pistol disguised as a cigarette, an agent could easily release the safety pin. Rotating the filter end counterclockwise armed the gun, and a push of the thumb caused it to fire a single .22-caliber bullet. It really worked.


link to full story and images

Democrats Consider Seating Plans And Why They Should Not Do IT

The big story today is the Democratic Rules Committee meeting being held today. I have come to believe over the last several months, that Hillary Clinton would be an awesomely good President, on par with at least Richard Nixon (another great President), and would be the only one capable of dealing with the issues our nation faces. So it is with some trepidation that I have to disagree with her "willingness" to let all of the votes be counted, and the delegates seated. She was completely opposed to them being counted when she was the presumed front runner, and has like "Saul" been converted on the road to Denver.

I am not a Democrat, but I think that if you have rules that say you cannot move your states caucuses, or primaries forward, and if you do you will be penalized, then you should do it, or why have rules. These contests would turn into anarchy, with states doing whatever they want, knowing that in the end, there would be an exception and they would get seated. These people who run the party need to be looking not to just this election, but to future elections. If Florida and Michigan are not made "examples", I would bet money on it, that in four years, everyone would move their contests, and say to Hell with the rules, because in the end we'll get our way. Is that anyway to run a organization, let alone a political party.

Hillary should finish out these next couple of days, and make her case to the delegates, that she is the best candidate, and if they choose to ignore her, then so be it, take it like the strong person that you are, work for Obama if he is the candidate, and plan for the future, either as a Senator, or for another Presidential run. The bottom line is to not allow Manchurian McCain get anywhere close to the Oval Office. It has been a historic year, and while it is good to be the best there is, please remember that the Titanic was the best ship ever, and look what happened on her maiden voyage. To continue full speed ahead, may scuttle you and your Party!

Anyway, here is the story at Yahoo News:

Democrats searched for a compromise Saturday to seat disputed delegations from Michigan and Florida at this summer's party convention and clear the way for a quick end to the marathon struggle between Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The challenge is to "come together at the end of the day and be united," Howard Dean, the party chairman, told members of the convention's Rules and Bylaws Committee gathered at a hotel across town from the White House.

Obama is a mere 42 delegates short of the 2,026 needed to clinch the nomination, in the Associated Press tally, and appears on track to wrap up the party prize in the coming days. He intends to signal the beginning of his general election campaign next Tuesday by holding a rally in the arena in St. Paul, Minn., where Republicans will to hold their convention this summer.

link to full story

Is Bush Preparing To Attack Uncontacted Tribe?

I was just reading a "cool" story of a rare uncontacted tribe in the Amazon, and I was musing to myself whether or not Bush has made contingency plans to attack this tribe, if it is shown they are a possible al-Qaeda training facility. They do have bow and arrows, which may indicate that they have hostile intentions, as evidenced by their brandishing of these weapons "toward" the aircraft that photographed them. Do they have weapons of mass destruction? Did Saddam hide his weapons here? There are so many "dumb" questions to ask, and so little time to do it!!
Am I just having fun with this story?
Probably!
I hope you enjoy the story anyway!! :)

Amazon Indians from one of the world's last uncontacted tribes have been photographed from the air, with striking images released on Thursday showing them painted bright red and brandishing bows and arrows.

The photographs of the tribe near the border between Brazil and Peru are rare evidence that such groups exist. A Brazilian official involved in the expedition said many of them are in increasing danger from illegal logging.


LINK TO STORY AND PHOTO

A Thursday Laugh Break~Attorney Jokes

I just received this in my email, and they were so funny, I had to share them with you. I shall move on to other topics after this little laugh break!! ENJOY~~

>>>>These are from a book called Disorder in the American
>>>>Courts, and are things people actually said in court,
>>>>word for word, taken down and now published by court
>>>>reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
>>>>these exchanges were actually taking place.
>>>>_______________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>>>>WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>>>>____________________________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>>>>WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
>>>>memory at all?
>>>>WITNESS: Yes.
>>>>ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>>>>
>>>>WITNESS: I forget.
>>>>ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
>>>>something you forgot?
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said
>>>>to you that morning?
>>>>WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>>>>ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>>>>WITNESS: My name is Susan!
>>>>
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
>>>>dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>>>>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
>>>>WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>>>>WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
>>>>
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>>>>WITNESS: Yes.
>>>>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>>>>WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>>>>WITNESS: Yes.
>>>>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>>>>WITNESS: None.
>>>>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>>>>WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I
>>>>need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>>>>WITNESS: By death.
>>>>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>>>>WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>>>>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>>>>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>>>>WITNESS: Guess.
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
>>>>pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>>>>WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
>>>>performed on dead people?
>>>>WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
>>>>people. Would you like to rephrase that?
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
>>>>What school did you go to?
>>>>WITNESS: Oral.
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>>>>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>>>>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>>>>WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
>>>>I was doing an autopsy on him!
>>>>________________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>-- And the best for last: ---
>>>>
>>>>ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
>>>>for a pulse?
>>>>WITNESS: No.
>>>>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>>>>WITNESS: No.
>>>>ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>>>>WITNESS: No.
>>>>ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
>>>>you began the autopsy?
>>>>WITNESS: No.
>>>>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>>>>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>>>>ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
>>>>nevertheless?
>>>>WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>>>>practicing law.
>>>>

We all know that Attorney's are easy to make fun of, so here are A few more Attorney Jokes to close out our "laugh" break:

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
==================================================================================
What's the difference between an attorney and a trampoline? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.
==================================================================================
A stingy old attorney, who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased attorney's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.

"Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
====================================================================================

A group of Arab terrorists burst into the conference room at the Ramada Hotel where the American Bar Association was holding its Annual Convention. More than a hundred attorneys were taken as hostages.

The terrorist leader announced that, unless their demands were met, they would release one attorney every hour
====================================================================================
An attorney was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets, a car was involved in an accident. As expected a large crowd gathered. Going by instinct, the attorney was eager to get to the injured, but he couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
====================================================================================
After years of hard work, Angie took her first vacation on a luxury cruise ship. While sitting in a deck chair, she recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from her old hometown.

She crossed the deck and shook hands with her friend and said: "Hello, Angela. I haven't seen you in years. What are you doing these days?"

"I'm practicing law," whispered Angela. "But don't tell my mother. She still thinks I'm a prostitute."
====================================================================================
A bus load of attorneys were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the attorneys.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them attorneys lie."
====================================================================================
What's the definition of a tragedy? A busload of attorneys crashes off a cliff and one seat is empty.

How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future attorney? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo? The attorney charges more.
====================================================================================
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.

After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out!"

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.

"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.

The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
====================================================================================
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."

Replied the governor "Well, its OK with me if its OK with the undertaker."
====================================================================================
And Finally For Today~~
Q: You're stranded in a deserted island with Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, and a lawyer. You have a revolver with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice!
;)

We Shall Pick On Someone Else Next Time~~Thank The Attorney's For Being So Amusing!!


Now Back To WORK!!! :)

Army Suicides Are Up

I was just reading a story at Yahoo News about the increase in Army suicides , and it states this is the highest in many years. This should be an important story for those of us who care and support the Troops, even if we no longer support the War in Iraq. The military needs to give these men and women the appropriate care, without attaching a stigma to "getting" help, that has often caused troops who need help, to go without it!

The number of Army suicides increased again last year, amid the most violent year yet in both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.


Two defense officials said Thursday that 108 troops committed suicide in 2007, six more than the previous year. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the full report on the deaths wasn't being released until later Thursday.

About a quarter of the deaths occurred in Iraq. The overall toll was the highest in many years, and it was unclear when, if ever, it was previously that high. Immediately available Army records go back only to 1990 and the figure then was lower at 102 for that year as well as 1991.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Hump Day Humor For May 28th

It has been a rather serious day, so I think we shall end the day with some Hump Day Humor, I hope you enjoy them!!

Great Price
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady s house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.

"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady s house.

"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"

"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money."
===============================================================================
Serving Lawyers
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender "Do you serve lawyers here?"

"Sure do," replied the bartender.

"Good," said the customer, "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my gator."
================================================================================
New Domain Names
Recently Gregory Nemitz and a handful of space enthusiasts proposed creating specialdomains, including ".luna" and ".moon," for Web sites based on the moon.

But why stop there? Here are some new proposed domains, and what you can expect from the sites in them..

".trek"--contains audio files of William Shatner

".bill"--Microsoft has bought this company

".love"--for people who would rather cuddle

".slow"--based in a distant country with no T3 lines

".geek"--assumes you know what all the acronyms mean

".404"--we stopped maintaining our servers in 1996

".y2k"--contains theories about the end of the world

".burn"--huge multimedia files will crash your computer

".*"--contains gossip about celebrity melt downs

".duh"--explains, in detail, stuff you already know
===============================================================================
Cheaper Alternative
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so? How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
==================================================================================

Microsoft's Answer
Vista is not the answer. Vista is the question. "No" is the answer.
==================================================================================

Smoking on the Bus
I am on a bus. The driver announces that smoking is prohibited and punishable by a fine of several hundred dollars. Suddenly, a baby starts crying.

"Come on kid, you're only 6-months-old, you can make it without a cigarette."
===================================================================================

Nymphomaniac
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office.

"What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
===================================================================================
Solving the Problem
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
===================================================================================

Here's some quips from May 19th:



Recent Quips from Late Night
"Anybody go down to the Crawford ranch for the big Jenna Bush wedding over the weekend? ... It was a lovely affair and God bless the kids. It's so nice so, sweet, romantic. But do you know there is a rice shortage? Are you aware of the fact you can't get rice in this country? So, when the wedding was over, they threw caramelized onions." --David Letterman

"Over the weekend in Texas, President Bush's daughter, Jenna, got married. Very nice, yeah. Afterwards, President Bush said, 'I haven't cried that much since Steve left 'Blues Clues.'' --Conan O'Brien

"Well, as reported, some Democrats are quietly sending word to Hillary that it's over. And Hillary's people said it's not over until the fat lady sings. To which Bill said, 'There's a fat lady? Where?'" --Jay Leno

"How about that presidential race? Hillary Clinton just won't quit. Can you believe that, ladies and gentlemen? You have to admire somebody who, against all odds, just won't quit. I mean, right now she has absolutely no chance whatsoever of being president, but she just won't quit. And they're running out of money. Hillary Clinton, God bless her, is running out of money. And today she was wearing a certified pre-owned pantsuit." --David Letterman

"Right now, this is interesting, director Oliver Stone is making a movie about President Bush that's called 'W.' Yeah. He's also making a movie about John McCain called 'No Country for Old Men.'" --Conan O'Brien

"No, Hillary Clinton said she will not give up, she will go to the convention, and she will win. And then the bartender said, 'Ma'am, it's 3:00, we're closing.' In fact, you hear Hillary's new slogan? 'I'm just in it now to annoy the hell out of everybody.'" --Jay Leno

"Political experts are saying the only thing that can stop Barack Obama now is a major sex scandal. And that's not gonna happen, because Barbara Walters said, 'He's way too young for me.'" --Jay Leno
====================================================================================
Working
"How long have you been working at that office ?"

"Ever since they threatened to fire me."
====================================================================================

Doctor's Visit
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."
====================================================================================

Boneless Chicken Breasts
A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher.

"Don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
;)

Thanks to everyone who emails me this stuff daily:)

Have A Nice Evening!!

Pat Tillman's Mother Speaks Out

I was just reading this next story at AlterNet, and it is about Mary Tillmans book about her son, who was killed by "friendly" fire in Afghanistan, and the cover-up that followed. It is an interesting interview and shows the impact of "lies" upon the families of Pat Tillman and others who died in the "War on Terrorism"!!

The official cover-up of football star-turned-soldier Pat Tillman's death by "friendly fire" has led his family on a four-year mission for justice.

After the Sept. 11 attacks, football star Pat Tillman left a multimillion-dollar contract with the Arizona Cardinals to join the Army Rangers, wanting to go fight Al-Qaeda. When the former NFL safety was killed in Afghanistan in April 2004, Army officials told his family he died in an enemy ambush. Five weeks later, after Tillman was posthumously awarded the Silver Star, and after Army officials at a nationally televised memorial had told a story of him charging up a hill in pursuit of enemy insurgents, the Army reported that, in fact, Tillman had been shot three times in the head by "friendly fire."

Since discovering that Tillman was killed by friendly fire, his family, led by his mother, Mary, and his brother, Kevin, who served with him in the Army, has been trying to find who was responsible for covering up what happened in Pat's death. After seven investigations, two Congressional hearings, and support from politicians ranging from Democratic California Rep. Mike Honda to Republican presidential candidate John McCain to retired general Wesley Clark, Mary Tillman says no one has been held accountable.

Now, with Narda Zacchino, former deputy editor of the San Francisco Chronicle, she has written a book about Pat's life and her struggle to find out the truth about his death. The title is Boots on the Ground by Dusk: My Tribute to Pat Tillman. AlterNet writer Emily Wilson sat down with her recently in San Francisco to talk about the book.


LINK TO MARY TILLMAN INTERVIEW

Scott McClellan Is A Complicit Punk

I was just reading the story at Yahoo News, about the self-serving little creep, Scott McClellan, who now writes about his time at the White House. Does he do so, to ease his conscience? For Money? For whatever reason~~It doesn't matter. He is nothing but a punk who knew he was doing the wrong thing, by assisting the President in creating an atmosphere for War in Iraq, and held his tongue, only now to come out with a book, lambasting his former colleagues, and deserves nothing but disdain from "US" the people he betrayed for expediency!! His memoir is too late for those who have died, and he surely has "their" blood on his hands, just as does the President, and everyone who was complicit in this War~~May They All Burn In Hell!!

The story reads:

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan writes in a new memoir that President Bush relied on an aggressive "political propaganda campaign" instead of the truth to sell the Iraq war, and that the decision to invade pushed Bush's presidency "terribly off course.'


The Bush White House made "a decision to turn away from candor and honesty when those qualities were most needed" — a time when the nation was on the brink of war, McClellan writes in the book entitled "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception."


The way Bush managed the Iraq issue "almost guaranteed that the use of force would become the only feasible option." "In the permanent campaign era, it was all about manipulating sources of public opinion to the president's advantage," McClellan writes.


LINK TO FULL STORY OF A PUNK

Mega-Pentagon Is A Bush Legacy

I was just reading this story at AlertNet, written by Frida Berrigan of Tomdispatch.com and reads:

The Pentagon has developed a taste for unrivaled power and unequaled access to the treasury that won't be easily undone by future administrations.

A full-fledged cottage industry is already focused on those who eagerly await the end of the Bush administration, offering calendars, magnets, and t-shirts for sale as well as counters and graphics to download onto blogs and websites. But when the countdown ends and George W. Bush vacates the Oval Office, he will leave a legacy to contend with. Certainly, he wills to his successor a world marred by war and battered by deprivation, but perhaps his most enduring legacy is now deeply embedded in Washington-area politics -- a Pentagon metastasized almost beyond recognition.

The Pentagon's massive bulk-up these last seven years will not be easily unbuilt, no matter who dons the presidential mantle on January 19, 2009. "The Pentagon" is now so much more than a five-sided building across the Potomac from Washington or even the seat of the Department of Defense. In many ways, it defies description or labeling.

Who, today, even remembers the debate at the end of the Cold War aboutå what role U.S. military power should play in a "unipolar" world? Was U.S. supremacy so well established, pundits were then asking, that Washington could rely on softer economic and cultural power, with military power no more than a backup (and a domestic "peace dividend" thrown into the bargain)? Or was the U.S. to strap on the six-guns of a global sheriff and police the world as the fountainhead of "humanitarian interventions"? Or was it the moment to boldly declare ourselves the world's sole superpower and wield a high-tech military comparable to none, actively discouraging any other power or power bloc from even considering future rivalry?

The attacks of September 11, 2001 decisively ended that debate. The Bush administration promptly declared total war on every front -- against peoples, ideologies, and, above all, "terrorism" (a tactic of the weak). That very September, administration officials proudly leaked the information that they were ready to "target" up to 60 other nations and the terrorist movements within them.

LINK TO FULL ALTERNET STORY

Memorial Day History Wikipedia Style

Memorial Day is a United States Federal Holiday observed on the last Monday of May (in 2008 on May 26). Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who perished while in military service to their country. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War, it was expanded after World War I to include casualties of any war or military action.

link to wikipedia

Memorial Day History

This is my first post in a couple of days, because I purchased a chess game online and downloaded it~~and it took nearly 22 hours to download, and then it did NOT work!! I shall not do that again~~I hope;) !!

Today we mark another Memorial Day, and we shall do posts all day with links to Memorial Day histories, and other pertinent information, as we honor all who have given their lives for our nation. May we have a Somber Day of Remembrance, instead of the way many in our country "celebrate" this day with drunken cookouts!! Thank You, and we begin with History.com:

Memorial Day was originally known as Decoration Day because it was a time set aside to honor the nation's Civil War dead by decorating their graves. It was first widely observed on May 30, 1868, to commemorate the sacrifices of Civil War soldiers, by proclamation of General John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic, an organization of former sailors and soldiers. On May 5, 1868, Logan declared in General Order No. 11 that:

The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land. In this observance no form of ceremony is prescribed, but posts and comrades will in their own way arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit.

During the first celebration of Decoration Day, General James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Ceremony, after which 5,000 participants helped to decorate the graves of the more than 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers buried in the cemetery.

This 1868 celebration was inspired by local observances of the day in several towns throughout America that had taken place in the three years since the Civil War. In fact, several Northern and Southern cities claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day, including Columbus, Miss.; Macon, Ga.; Richmond, Va.; Boalsburg, Pa.; and Carbondale, Ill.

In 1966, the federal government, under the direction of President Lyndon Johnson, declared Waterloo, N.Y., the official birthplace of Memorial Day. They chose Waterloo—which had first celebrated the day on May 5, 1866—because the town had made Memorial Day an annual, community-wide event during which businesses closed and residents decorated the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags.

By the late 1800s, many communities across the country had begun to celebrate Memorial Day and, after World War I, observances also began to honor those who had died in all of America's wars. In 1971, Congress declared Memorial Day a national holiday to be celebrated the last Monday in May. (Veteran's Day), a day set aside to honor all veterans, living and dead, is celebrated each year on November 11.)

Today, Memorial Day is celebrated at Arlington National Ceremony with a ceremony in which a small American flag is placed on each grave. Also, it is customary for the president or vice-president to give a speech honoring the contributions of the dead and lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. About 5,000 people attend the ceremony annually.

Several Southern states continue to set aside a special day for honoring the Confederate dead, which is usually called Confederate Memorial Day.

LINK TO HISTORY.COM

12 Species On The Brink Of Extinction

The following Yahoo News LiveScience story is about 12 Species on the brink of extinction.

The Wildlife Conservation Society has released a list of the "Rarest of the Rare," a dozen animals most in danger of extinction.

The eclectic list includes birds, mammals, fish, reptiles, amphibians, and insects. Some are well known, such as the northern right whale and Sumatran rhino, while others are more obscure, including Abbot's booby, an ocean-going bird that only nests on Christmas Island.

The animals were highlighted today because it is National Endangered Species Day. They are:
LINK TO LIST AND FULL STORY

Why Everyone Is Thumbs-Up

Here is a fun story at Yahoo News, about the origins, and transformation of the thumbs up symbol from having a bad meaning to a good one.

Seems everyone these days is giving the thumbs-up, no matter the circumstances.

Senator Edward Kennedy gave a big thumbs-up as he left the hospital Wednesday, facing a new outlook on life with a potentially deadly brain tumor. Hillary did it just this week at a we're-not-mathematically-defeated-yet campaign rally in Florida. John McCain can't not do it.

The gesture, for better or worse, has long breathed life or death into major events.

Death to gladiators The thumbs-up gesture has its roots in ancient Rome, where gladiators would literally live or die by it. Pollice verso is the Latin term for the gesture, meaning "with a turned thumb."

LINK TO FULL STORY

Myanmar FINALLY Agrees To Assistance

Well, Finally the Myanmar military junta is going to allow aid workers in to assist the survivors, but it should be noted that thousands may have died because of their refusal to allow aid workers in right away. So while this is a positive step, "they" deserve nothing but disdain for their attitudes and behaviors over the last two weeks.

The story at Yahoo News reads:

Myanmar's junta agreed on Friday to admit cyclone aid workers "regardless of nationalities" to the hardest-hit Irrawaddy Delta, a breakthrough for delivering help to survivors, U.N. officials said.

Western disaster experts, largely kept out of the delta and restricted to the former capital Yangon, welcomed the news but wanted more details on the deal struck by U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and junta supremo Than Shwe.

"The general said he saw no reason why that should not happen ... as long as they were genuine humanitarian workers and it was clear what they were going to be doing," a U.N. official with Ban said. The U.N. chief and his aides, on a mission to help 2.4 million left destitute by the storm that struck three weeks ago, met Senior General Than Shwe for more than two hours in the remote new capital of Naypyidaw.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Did Jesus Save Pilots?

Here is an interesting feel good story at Yahoo News, whether you are religious or not, as it definitely has an ironic end. Hope you enjoy it!

It seemed like an almost literal answer to their prayers. When two New Zealand pilots ran out of fuel in a microlight airplane they offered prayers and were able to make an emergency landing in a field — coming to rest right next to a sign reading, "Jesus is Lord."

Grant Stubbs and Owen Wilson, both from the town of Blenheim on the country's South Island, were flying up the sloping valley of Pelorus Sound when the engine spluttered, coughed and died.

"My friend and I are both Christians so our immediate reaction in a life-threatening situation was to ask for God's help," Stubbs told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Cool Geography Student Is 11

I have not done a "cool" person story for awhile, but I was just reading about one at Yahoo News~~

Quick: Cochabamba is the third-largest conurbation in what country?


Your answer might be, "Huh?" But 11-year-old Akshay Rajagopal answered "Bolivia" to clinch the 20th annual National Geographic Bee on Wednesday.

A conurbation is a large, densely populated urban area — and Cochabamba is the third-largest one in the South American country.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Court Rules That Texas Had No Right To Take Polygamists' Kids

Here is a story that will be getting a lot of attention, as it is analyzed, and we will update as warranted. This may be good law, but may be bad for these children.

Ten minutes ago this short story appeared on Yahoo News:

A state appellate court has ruled that child welfare officials had no right to seize more than 400 children living at a polygamist sect's ranch.

The Third Court of Appeals in Austin ruled that the grounds for removing the children were "legally and factually insufficient" under Texas law. They did not immediately order the return of the children.

Child welfare officials removed the children on the grounds that the sect pushed underage girls into marriage and sex and trained boys to become future perpetrators.

The appellate court ruled the chaotic hearing held last month did not demonstrate the children were in any immediate danger, the only measure of taking children from their homes without court proceedings.

Gas over $3.83 As Memorial Day Approaches

Obviously, we would not want the analyst's to be wrong, so when they predicted $4.00 gas by Memorial Day, we should have known that it would come to pass. We should be so proud that our government has not taken our energy needs seriously, and as the National Defense issue that it should be.

Here is today Yahoo News story on the "new" high price:
Americans getting an early start on the Memorial Day weekend found that gasoline prices again sprinted to a new record high overnight, reaching a national average above $3.83 a gallon. Some analysts predict gas will break past $4 as early as next week.

Oil prices, meanwhile, fluctuated Thursday after setting a new record of $135.09 in overnight trading. A stronger dollar gave some investors reason to sell oil futures to lock in profits from crude's record run. But concerns about falling supplies and rising demand are expected to keep propelling prices higher in the days and weeks to come.

Oil's surge is contributing directly to the pain consumers feel every time they fill up. At the pump, the average national price of a gallon of regular gas rose 2.4 cents overnight to $3.831, according to a survey of stations by AAA and the Oil Price Information Service. Prices are 61 cents higher than a year ago.

LINK TO FULL STORY

ID-Protection Ads Bite Pitchman

This first story is funny, because it is one of those where you say "no kidding" or "How did it take so long to happen". It is about the Lifelock guy and his ads advertising his social security number, and saying how safe his company can make you. Right away I figured some smart hacker would use his number and access services, credit, etc., and while what happened was not too bad, it still shows that his company cannot protect you from "real" criminals.

It reads:
Todd Davis has dared criminals for two years to try stealing his identity: Ads for his fraud-prevention company, LifeLock, even offer his Social Security number next to his smiling mug.

Now, Lifelock customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn't work as promised and he knew it wouldn't, because the service had failed even him.

Attorney David Paris said he found records of other people applying for or receiving driver's licenses at least 20 times using Davis' Social Security number, though some of the applications may have been rejected because data in them didn't match what the Social Security Administration had on file.

Davis acknowledged in an interview with The Associated Press that his stunt has led to at least 87 instances in which people have tried to steal his identity, and one succeeded: a guy in Texas who duped an online payday loan operation last year into giving him $500 using Davis' Social Security number.

LINK TO FULL STORY

California Big One Earthquake Scenario

I was just reading this California Earthquake scenario at Yahoo News, and it would definitely make you nervous if you were living in the someday to be affected earthquake zones. There were a large number of scientists that worked to create the realistic and frightening scenario.

The story begins:

The "Big One," as earthquake scientists imagine it in a detailed, first-of-its-kind script, unzips California's mighty San Andreas Fault north of the Mexican border. In less than two minutes, Los Angeles and its sprawling suburbs are shaking like a bowl of jelly.

The jolt from the 7.8-magnitude temblor lasts for three minutes — 15 times longer than the disastrous 1994 Northridge quake
.
Water and sewer pipes crack. Power fails. Part of major highways break. Some high-rise steel frame buildings and older concrete and brick structures collapse.

Hospitals are swamped with 50,000 injured as all of Southern California reels from a blow on par with the Sept. 11 attacks and Hurricane Katrina: $200 billion in damage to the economy, and 1,800 dead.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Obscene $175 Hamburger

If Marie Antoinette were alive today, her famous "Let them eat cake" remark, would be replaced by "Let them eat Hamburger", as this next story shows the inequities of our society in a very visible and obscene symbol~~a $175 Hamburger. This may sound like class warfare stuff(and it may be, as I am angry), but in a country were people go hungry everyday, and a world where starvation is rampant, is it not the height of haughtiness to create such a meal~~out of a symbol of the common man~a hamburger?!~!

We already know that the rich can have a dinner for two, that costs as much as a lot of us pay in rent for the month, but I thought this story about a "hamburger" no matter how :special", showed just how much hate the rich have for the rest of us, and I found nothing interesting or amusing about it, (other than write about it and perhaps make you angry as well)~~as this just shows their snobbishness toward us!!
The story says:

Its creators admit it is the ultimate in decadence: a $175 hamburger.

The Wall Street Burger Shoppe just raised its price from $150 to assure its designation as the costliest burger in the city as determined by Pocket Change, an online newsletter about the most expensive things in New York.

"Wall Street has good days and bad days. We wanted to have the everyday burger (for $4) ... and then something special if you really have a good day on Wall Street," said co-owner Heather Tierney.

The burger, created by chef and co-owner Kevin O'Connell, seeks to justify its price with a Kobe beef patty, lots of black truffles, seared foie gras, aged Gruyere cheese, wild mushrooms and flecks of gold leaf on a brioche bun.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Obscene $175 Hamburger

If Marie Antoinette were alive today, her famous "Let them eat cake" remark, would be replaced by "Let them eat Hamburger", as this next story shows the inequities of our society in a very visible and obscene symbol~~a $175 Hamburger. This may sound like class warfare stuff(and it may be, as I am angry), but in a country were people go hungry everyday, and a world where starvation is rampant, is it not the height of haughtiness to create such a meal~~out of a symbol of the common man~a hamburger?!~!

We already know that the rich can have a dinner for two, that costs as much as a lot of us pay in rent for the month, but I thought this story about a "hamburger" no matter how :special", showed just how much hate the rich have for the rest of us, and I found nothing interesting or amusing about it, (other than write about it and perhaps make you angry as well)~~as this just shows their snobbishness toward us!!
The story says:

Its creators admit it is the ultimate in decadence: a $175 hamburger.

The Wall Street Burger Shoppe just raised its price from $150 to assure its designation as the costliest burger in the city as determined by Pocket Change, an online newsletter about the most expensive things in New York.

"Wall Street has good days and bad days. We wanted to have the everyday burger (for $4) ... and then something special if you really have a good day on Wall Street," said co-owner Heather Tierney.

The burger, created by chef and co-owner Kevin O'Connell, seeks to justify its price with a Kobe beef patty, lots of black truffles, seared foie gras, aged Gruyere cheese, wild mushrooms and flecks of gold leaf on a brioche bun.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Supernova Caught Exploding On Camera

If you like science and astronomy, you may like this next story at Yahoo News:

Excited astronomers said on Wednesday they had for the first time caught a supernova on camera just as it was exploding, and they may now learn how to spot others.

By luck, they spotted a burst of X-rays while looking at another part of a distant galaxy, and managed to turn a variety of telescopes in the right direction just in time.

"For years, we have dreamed of seeing a star just as it was exploding," said Alicia Soderberg of Princeton University in New Jersey, who led the international team of astronomers. "We were in the right place, at the right time, with the right telescope, on January 9th and witnessed history," she added in a statement.


A supernova is a dying star, but one much bigger than Earth's sun. It first explodes outwards, then shrinks into itself to form an extremely dense, cold ball. Sometimes a neutron star results and sometimes a black hole.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Kennedy Being Hospitalized Was NOT Funny

I was watching this story unfold all day yesterday, as I had made a "joke" the other day about Ted Kennedy entering the hospital, partly as a "new" Hillary "voodoo" strategy, and partly because the rich, and or politicians have such awesome health care that they can go to the hospital with a headache, stubbed toe, or indigestion, while the rest of us have to think about whether or not we can go, even if we rip a limb off, or are dying of pneumonia.
Anyway, while I still believe some of this is Senator Kennedy's karma returning, I do know he is a stalwart fighter for his causes, and I feel for his family.
I just spent the last two years worrying, and standing by my 22 year old niece as she had brain surgery on a tumor, underwent chemotheraphy, and radiation, so I do understand what is ahead for this family. My neice is 6 months clear, but has to be checked every three months. She had only been married two weeks when she found out, and so far she is cancer free, but the treatments put this 22 year old into menapause so she cannot have children. Her husband is awesome, and as soon as they "know" that she is cancer "free" for awhile longer they will adopt, as there are so many children who need good parents, and they would be excellent parents, so I hope that comes to pass!!
My best wishes to Ted Kennedy and his family in this deadly struggle, and may the public awareness, spur people to get checked sooner, and perhaps it will save lives.
To The Story At Yahoo News:
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy gave a thumbs up to well-wishers and kisses to relatives as he walked out of the hospital Wednesday, a day after learning he has a cancerous brain tumor.
A square bandage at the back of his head marked the spot where doctors performed a biopsy Monday that led them to diagnose the Massachusetts Democrat with malignant glioma. Experts say such tumors are almost always fatal.
Kennedy's dogs, Sunny and Splash, met him at the hospital door. Hospital workers and well-wishers greeted Kennedy with applause. Before he and his wife, Vicki, got into a dark Chevrolet Suburban, he kissed his daughter, Kara, and his niece Caroline Kennedy, and embraced his son, Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I.

LINK TO FULL STORY

How Coffee Changed The World

Here is another in the How (fill in the blank) Changed The World series by Heather Whipps, of LiveScience.com, and today's installment is on coffee.

Did you hear the one about the goat, the monk and the Indian pilgrim?

There's no crass punchline to this story, just a punchy drink that is the world's second most important commodity, after oil.

Discovered more than 1,000 years ago by goats roaming the hills of Ethiopia, coffee today employs 500 million people, from the workers toiling in the fields of Kenya to the teenage baristas at your neighborhood Starbucks.

In a world of more than 6 billion people, enjoying a good cup of joe is one of the few fixtures of everyday life common to cultures on every continent.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Why Do We Care Or Not Care?

For all the death and destruction around the globe, there is a story at Yahoo News, which tells us why we care, when tragedies occur. So as bad as humans can be, there is this positive trait that we have as part of our hardwiring.
I Hope you Enjoy the story:

The dire situations in cyclone-battered Myanmar and quake-tossed southwestern China and the impulse of many to offer relief have a lot to do with human nature. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors likely did it, and non-human primates do it. We are hard-wired to help others, to drop everything in crisis situations, scientists say.

"People do really respond in these crisis situations where it's really a short-term matter of life or death," said Daniel Kruger at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health. The motivation to give dates back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors, he said. Some non-human primates also have been shown to step in during a crisis to help their kin or even humans.

Myanmar is an acute case, with the death toll at nearly 78,000, though expected to surpass 100,000, and up to 2.5 million people considered severely affected. And major relief efforts have mounted since Cyclone Nargis struck on May 2. In China, millions of dollars are also pouring into Sichuan Province, where more than 34,000 are reported dead and 4.8 million were left homeless from the recent earthquake and its aftershocks.

Several factors make acute disasters like these different from other human hardships, including their short-term nature, widespread images that tug at our heart strings, and the high benefits relative to costs of helping.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Pentagon Announces Deployment Of Troops To Iraq And Afghanistan

I was just reading this story at Yahoo News, concerning the upcoming troop deployments to Iraq, and Afghanistan:

The Pentagon on Monday announced upcoming deployments of more than 42,000 troops, including 25,000 active duty Army soldiers who would be sent to Iraq beginning in the fall to replace troops scheduled to come home by year's end.

The deployments would maintain a level of 15 brigades in Iraq, or roughly 140,000 troops, the number military leaders expect will remain on the warfront at the end of July, once the currently planned withdrawals are finished.

Under the new Pentagon policy effective in August, those active duty Army units will serve for 12 months, rather than the 15-month tours that units in Iraq now are serving. The bulk of the soldiers deploying later this year returned from Iraq late last year, and will have gotten about a year at home to rest and retrain.

LINK TO FULL STORY

China Stands Still To Mourn Quake Victims

I was just reading this story at Yahoo News, concerning the Chinese earthquake, and their time of mourning as a week has passed since the quake hit. In a rare move for China, they also thanked the international community for the aid they have received so far, and requested more!

China stood still Monday in mourning over tens of thousands of earthquake victims, and the government appealed for more international aid to cope with the country's deadliest disaster in a generation.

Construction workers, shopkeepers and bureaucrats across the bustling nation of 1.3 billion people paused for three minutes at 2:28 p.m., exactly one week after the magnitude 7.9 quake hit central China.

Air-raid sirens and the horns of cars and buses sounded in memory of the dead. Rescuers searching for signs of life among the rubble paused briefly then continued to dig but hopes for finding survivors a week after the disaster were growing slim.Further adding to the tragedy, state news reported that more than 200 workers who had been repairing quake-shattered roads in Sichuan province were buried over the past three days by mudslides.

LINK TO FULL STORY

If Cheney & Co. Had Really Plotted the 9/11 Attacks ...

Disclaimer: If you think making fun of the plot to destroy the World Trade Centers on 9/11 isn't humorous, you may wish to skip this next story which I found on AlterNet this morning. I think that whether you are a conspiracy believer or not , this re-enactment by Matt Taibbi, may give you pause to question your "belief". I believe we still need a truly independent investigation into 9/11, but after reading the "re-enactment" I am a inclined to not see a total conspiracy, but perhaps just Cheney & Bush taking full advantage of the events for their own purposes, i.e. the Afghanistan and Iraq invasions.
Anyway here we go:

It is Matt Taibbi's hilarious re-enactment of the secret govt. conspiracy (that never happened) to conduct the attacks.
The following is an adapted excerpt from Matt Taibbi's new book, The Great Derangement" (Spiegel and Grau, 2008).
The 9/11 Truth movement is really distinguished by a kind of defiant unfamiliarity with the actual character of America's ruling class. In 9/11 lore the people who staff the White House, the security agencies, the Pentagon and groups like PNAC and the Council of Foreign Relations are imagined to be a monolithic, united class of dastardly, swashbuckling risk-takers with permanent hard-ons for Bourne Supremacy-style "false flag" and "black bag" operations, instead of the mundanely greedy, risk-averse, backstabbing, lawn-tending, half-clever suburban golfers they are in real life. It completely misunderstands the nature of American government -- fails to see that the old maxim about "the business of America is business" is absolutely true, that the federal government in this country is really just a lo-rent time-share property seasonally occupied by this or that clan of financial interests, each of which takes its 4-year turn at the helm tinkering with the tax laws and regulatory code and the rates at the Fed in the way it thinks will best keep the money train rolling.

The people who really run America don't send the likes of George Bush and Dick Cheney to the White House to cook up boat-rocking, maniacal world-domination plans and commit massive criminal conspiracies on live national television; they send them there to repeal PUCHA and dole out funds for the F-22 and pass energy bills with $14 billion tax breaks and slash fuel efficiency standards and do all the other shit that never makes the papers but keeps Wall Street and the country's corporate boardrooms happy. You don't elect politicians to commit crimes; you elect politicians to make your crimes legal. That is the whole purpose of the racket of government. Another other use of it would be a terrible investment, and the financial class in this country didn't get to where it is by betting on the ability of a president whose lips move when he reads to blow up two Manhattan skyscrapers in broad daylight without getting caught.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Myanmar Government Remains Intransigent

Everyday I keep hoping something will happen and we will be able to assist the Myanmar cyclone victims, and each day that hope is dashed when I read the news. When will we take a stand and work with the world to recitfy the situation there. The story this morning at Yahoo News is of another rebuff of United Nations assistance by the Myanmar thugs-in-power, with the slightest hint that they may relent with continued pressure.

A senior U.N. envoy went to Myanmar Sunday to urge its military junta to accept more international aid for cyclone survivors, as a British minister suggested the isolationist regime may be relenting.


John Holmes, the U.N. undersecretary-general for humanitarian affairs, was greeted by Deputy Foreign Minister Kyaw Thu at the start of a three-day trip that will include a tour of the Irrawaddy delta, the area most severely hit by Cyclone Nargis on May 2-3.Holmes also will meet with high government leaders, said Daniel Baker, a senior U.N. official.

He did not elaborate but other officials have said Holmes' mission is to assess the needs of survivors and urge the isolationist junta to open its doors to more international aid before people begin dying from starvation and diseases.

LINK TO FULL STORY

Is Ted Kennedy Being Hospitalized Funny?

I should mention that I am feeling very evil, and very~very overcaffeinated/phenylalanined from several liters of Diet Dew, so the rant below, just seemed to flow from my fingers into the computer and appeared on the screen~~therefore I am apologizing to my liberal, and conservative, friends before you read any further!! For a moment I also thought about just being the nice guy that I am 99.9% of the time, and not writing anything mean or hurtful, but overcame that inclination with another liter of Diet Dew!!~~So for the next few paragraphs I have given myself over to my "demons" to express themselves!!
It is getting to be late afternoon, and it is very boring at the mall. I was reading several bad stories online, concerning China's earthquake efforts, and the Myanmar junta refusing to allow a French aid ship to unload. Then there was a "brighter" story about Senator Edward Kennedy being rushed to the hospital after suffering a seizure. I was going to write about that in an amusing format and basically "blame" Hillary Clinton for using Voodoo to eliminate the Obamanian Superdelegates, and to throw in the Karmic aspects of "his" life, but I thought many people would think it was in poor taste, and I assure you, it would have been!!
Perhaps I'll work that in the early part of next week, with an idea I have for Hillary to "sell her soul to the Devil~~again" for the nomination, only to find out "everyone" sells their souls to the Devil~and she is right back where she is now. I am not sure on that yet, as it may offend religious and political readers, which again would be the sole "soul" purpose, as my ability to offend anyone has not really been exercised since I wrote about our former Drooler-in-Chief~Ronnie Reagan, and found that there were people out there who actually think~~thought he was ~~are you ready?~~a good/great President, and chastised me for my posts condemning him as the evil, lying, did I mention evil, scumbag that he was behind the "grandfatherly" facade.
Oh and many of you already know I actually was a Young Republican, and worked for Reagan's campaign, only to regret it within six months of his Reign of Hell on Earth began, so don't peg me as a lefty liberal, hating on poor Ronnie as he rightly "burns" in Hell!!
There that is enough venting for today~~we'll get back to politics on Sunday, or Monday, but will fill the rest of this evening with jokes, silliness, and maybe some informative posts.
Hope You Enjoy These:)

Hospital Fun
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.

"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, "we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."

Peter said, "But I could be dead by then!"

Receptionist replied, "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment. "
============================================================================================
Birthday Message
A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

Well he thinks for a while and says, "Put 'You're not getting older,' at the top and 'You're getting better' at the bottom."

The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:

"You're not getting older at the top, You're getting better at the bottom."
============================================================================================
Cheap Parrot
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That’s really not so bad."

When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman’s husband ‘Keith’ came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

"Hi, Keith!"
==============================================================================================
Henpecked
Amanpreet was henpecked. He was seeing a psychiatrist about the problem. The doctor told him, "You don't have to let your wife bully you! Go home and show her you're the boss!"

Preet got home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on, you're taking orders from ME! When I get home from now on, I want my supper ON the table.

"I want you go right NOW and lay out my clothes. I'm going out with the boys.

"And YOU'RE going to stay home where you belong. Another thing, you know who's going to tie my tie?"

Preet's wife replied calmly, "The undertaker?"
===============================================================================================
When Snails Attack
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises.

Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office. "What happened to you? the officer asks.

"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.

"Can you describe what they looked like?"

"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
===============================================================================================
Banged Up
"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.

"Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out.

"I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said.

"By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view."

"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor.

"Yes."

"What did it say?"

"Don't stand up in the car!"
===============================================================================================
Three Questions
A man calls his lawyer and asks: How much would you charge me to answer three questions?

LAWYER: Four Hundred Dollars

MAN: That's a bit steep don't you think?

LAWYER: I suppose...What's you third question?
===============================================================================================
Confessions
To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip to famous old St. Andrews' Golf Course in Scotland.

On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."

His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you."

They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry, darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.

The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on his wife's clubs.

He screamed and ranted, "You liar...you cheat ... you despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the ladies' tees?!"
==============================================================================================
Honest Lawyer
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
==============================================================================================
Off-Duty
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.

"This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets--each for not wearing a seat belt.
==============================================================================================
In Love
A man sitting at the window one evening casually called to his wife, "There's that woman that the guy next door is in love with!"

His wife, in the kitchen, dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase, and looked out the window. "Where? Where?" she demanded.

"Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress."

"You idiot! That's his wife!"

"Yes, I know," the husband grinned. ;)
===============================================================================================
Wasn't that better than reading about despicable politicians, here and abroad?!
Hope You Were Amused~~ HAVE A PLEASANT SATURDAY EVENING!!

So Bush Says He "supports" A Palestinian State

I was just reading this next story at Yahoo News, about our "failed" President telling the Palestinians that they deserve their own state. This is all well and good, but there doesn't look like there is any push to actually accomplish this goal.

There has always been a very simple, but impossible to achieve way for a Palestinian state, and that is a recognition of Israel's right to exist, forgiveness on both sides for past actions, and a end to the Arabs of all stripes from verbally and physically attacking Israel and its' citizens. The road to that end is littered with the bodies of a few who attempted to make peace on both sides.

Someday, perhaps there will be peace and a settlement of this issue, but the near future looks bleak, even as Bush and Abbas tried to sound hopeful of success. So Bush supports a Palestinian state~~then maybe you should do something about it~~just saying, his efforts so far haven't accomplished anything. Are there new diplomatic efforts, behind the scenes cajoling, or just more lip service until the can get out of town next year?! It shall be interesting to see what new "things" are attempted between now and then!

The story says that President Bush, tried to reassure Palestinians wary of his dedication to their side in the Mideast peace dispute, said Saturday by saying that he is "absolutely committed" to getting an Israeli-Palestinian accord by the end of the year.

"It breaks my heart to see the vast potential of the Palestinian people, really, wasted," Bush said at the side of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. He spoke of a peace deal after the two leaders met in the president's villa at this beach resort town on the Red Sea. "It would be an opportunity to end the suffering that takes place in the Palestinian territories," Bush assured.

Bush and Abbas met for nearly an hour before speaking briefly to reporters. They then strolled back inside, holding hands as they walked slowly down a bouganveilla-lined path, for a private dinner.


LINK TO FULL STORY

So Bush Says He "supports" A Palestinian State

I was just reading this next story at Yahoo News, about our "failed" President telling the Palestinians that they deserve their own state. This is all well and good, but there doesn't look like there is any push to actually accomplish this goal.

There has always been a very simple, but impossible to achieve way for a Palestinian state, and that is a recognition of Israel's right to exist, forgiveness on both sides for past actions, and a end to the Arabs of all stripes from verbally and physically attacking Israel and its' citizens. The road to that end is littered with the bodies of a few who attempted to make peace on both sides.

Someday, perhaps there will be peace and a settlement of this issue, but the near future looks bleak, even as Bush and Abbas tried to sound hopeful of success. So Bush supports a Palestinian state~~then maybe you should do something about it~~just saying, his efforts so far haven't accomplished anything. Are there new diplomatic efforts, behind the scenes cajoling, or just more lip service until the can get out of town next year?! It shall be interesting to see what new "things" are attempted between now and then!

The story says that President Bush, tried to reassure Palestinians wary of his dedication to their side in the Mideast peace dispute, said Saturday by saying that he is "absolutely committed" to getting an Israeli-Palestinian accord by the end of the year.

"It breaks my heart to see the vast potential of the Palestinian people, really, wasted," Bush said at the side of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. He spoke of a peace deal after the two leaders met in the president's villa at this beach resort town on the Red Sea. "It would be an opportunity to end the suffering that takes place in the Palestinian territories," Bush assured.

Bush and Abbas met for nearly an hour before speaking briefly to reporters. They then strolled back inside, holding hands as they walked slowly down a bouganveilla-lined path, for a private dinner.


LINK TO FULL STORY

We MUST Act In Myanmar NOW

In a story I was just reading at Yahoo News, the tragedy of Myanmar continues to grow, and the need to do something to assist these people is imperative. I do not understand why we continue to "negotiate" with this regime, that obviously does not care for its' own citizens. We have done the good and proper diplomatic things, now we need to do the essential "save" the citizens of Myanmar, and to hell with the military junta.

There is absolutely no need to "overthrow" these idiots! Let us work with the British on their "plan" to force aid on Myanmar, by way of a massive air drop. This would assist many, and would have little if any impact on "destroying" or in any other way of taking control of this nation. It might also clear the way for further aid, as the junta "sees" that we are not there to "change" their government, but just trying to help!! We MUST act before the death toll doubles, or triples again; what with more rain, disease, starvation, this is a very real possibility, and We have the ability to stop it~~NOW!!

The story begins:

Torrential rain lashed victims of Cyclone Nargis on Friday as Myanmar's junta admitted more than 130,000 people were dead or missing, putting the disaster on a par with a 1991 cyclone that killed 143,000 in neighboring Bangladesh.


In a shock update to a death toll that had consistently lagged behind international aid agency estimates, state television in the army-ruled former Burma said 77,738 people were dead and another 55,917 missing.

The May 2 storm has left another 2.5 million people clinging to survival in the delta, where thousands of destitute victims are lining roadsides, begging for help in the absence of large-scale government or foreign relief operations.

LINK TO FULL TRAGIC STORY

Frazzled Friday Funnies

The day has hardly begun and it is already too long. I finally got to bed at 1:00 a.m., and then I was up at 3 a.m., unable to sleep. The University of Iowa has graduation tomorrow, Saturday the 17th, and I did not think that I would have enough Hawkeye prints to get through graduation weekend. We had a special 40 print shipment complete and sent down from our Minneapolis framers, and I had to pick it up and be back at the Coral Ridge Mall and unloaded by 10 a.m. to open the Art Kiosk. I had a harrowing time, with morning traffic, with a little over 2 hours drive and load time, but made it with a few minutes to spare. I was exhausted from literally running the prints from the loading dock to the Explorer, and then from the Explorer to the Kiosk when I got back to the Mall. I spent the last few hours taking the wrappers apart and placing everything on the kiosk "teepees" or inside them if they were multiples. Now I am ready for the weekend and decided we need some humor to relax.

I hope you have a Fantastic Friday, and a Great Weekend!!

Some of these may not be PC, but some of them are very funny, while others are amusing or at least odd ;)

Custody
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I am definitely not very computer literate as evidenced by all the trouble I have had, but this next one might be odd, but I don't think it is very funny. However, I thought that computer pros would see the humor in it:


The IT Husband
Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.
Husband :(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife :Have you brought the grocery?
Husband :Bad command or filename.
Wife :But I told you in the morning
Husband :Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife :What about my new TV?
Husband :Variable not found ...
Wife :At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Wife :Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband :Too many parameters ...
Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband :Data type mismatch.
Wife :You are useless.
Husband :It's by Default.
Wife :What about your Salary?
Husband :File in use ... Try after some time.
Wife :What is my value in the family.
Husband :Unknown Virus.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Planting Flowers
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the entire back garden.”

The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the flower.”
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////




Rude Parrot
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.

David tried to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.

Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior."

David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued,

"Now, if I may ask, what did the chicken do?"
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No Tapping
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped Centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!“

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Its okay, thats not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.”
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Talking Dog
A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars."

The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking-dog stuff? There ain't no such animal."

Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times."

"Hey!" said the neighbor. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?"

"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Too Many Choices
Question: What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?

Answer: Tea, please.

Question: Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?

Answer: Ceylon tea

Question: How would you like it? Black or White?

Answer: White

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?

Answer: With milk.

Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?

Answer: With cow milk please.

Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?

Answer: Um, I’ll take it black.

Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

Answer: With sugar.

Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar ?

Answer: Cane sugar.

Question: White , brown or yellow sugar?

Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.

Question: Mineral water or still water?

Answer: Mineral water

Question: Flavored or non-flavored?

Answer: I'd rather die of thirst.
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Dead Rabbit
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.

He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"

The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. um.. what happened?"

The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"
==============================================================================================

And Finally For Now:


Men and Women
- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.

- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

- To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.

- To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate overnight.

- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.

- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument


Take Care!! :)