Amusing Signs & Excuses?!

Good Morning! Here is to starting Thursday off with a little humor: The signs and excuses below are Real ~~ Hope they give you a smile!! :)

Signs of the Times
- At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation: "Eat here and get gas."

- At a Sante Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

- In a New Hampshire jewelry store: "Ears pierced while you wait."

- In an New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

- In a Michigan restaurant: "The early bird gets the worm! Special shoppers' luncheon before 11:00 AM."

- On a delicatessen wall: "Our best is none too good."

- On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law -- Sisters of Mercy"

- On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store: "Thirty-eight years on the same spot."

- In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

- On a movie theater: "Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child."

- In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed!"

- In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."

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Signs That Things are Weird
- In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

- In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits - $10.00 - They won't last an hour!"

- On an Indiana shopping mall marquee: "Archery tournament. Ears pierced."

- In the bathroom of a large apartment building: "When taking showers, please leave the bathroom door a jar. This will prevent the plaster from peeling."

- Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."

- On a North Carolina highway: "EAT -- 300 FEET"

- On an Ohio highway: "Drive slower When Wet."

- On a New Hampshire highway: "You are speeding when flashing."

- On a Pennsylvania highway: "Drive carefully: Auto accidents kill most people from 15 to 19."

- In downtown Boston: "Calahan Tunnel/No. End."

- In the window of an Oregon general store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"

- In a Massachusettes parking area reserved for birdwatchers: "Parking for birds only."

- In a New Jersey restaurant: "Open 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM Midnight."

- In front of a New Hampshire restaurant: "Now serving live lobsters."

- In front of a New Hampshire store: "Endurable floors."

- On a radiator repair garage: "Best place too take a leak."
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Excuse Me!
The following were all found in notes written by parents to excuse their children's absences from school.

- Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.

- Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend a funeral.

- My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marine's.

- Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

- Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

- Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor.

- Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the berst either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around school, her father even got hot last night.
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And More Excuses,
The following were all found in notes written by parents to excuse their children's absences from school.

- My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

- Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

- Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

- Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

- Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

- John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

- Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

- Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.
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Have A Wonderful Thursday!! ;)