Last 2 Days Of Happy Posts?!

This is one of the last two days of happy posts, in celebration of getting the computer working again, after which we will again write about the good and bad in the world, with emphasis on the bad. I think the first post will be on Myanmar on Monday, and why we should use our vast military to overthrow these evil generals who are letting their people die, in the aftermath of the terrible cyclone.

Anyway on to fun and possibly humorous stories for today and tomorrow. Have A Silly Saturday! :)

Double Decker Bus
There's a double decker bus driving down the street full of passengers. On the lower level of the bus, everyone's having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing.

On the upper part of the bus, Maynard is in a panic. He's screaming, terrified, and holding onto others as the bus moves along the street.

Finally, someone gets up and walks to the top of the bus to ask what's wrong. Maynard replies, "What's wrong? Well, you'd be screaming too if you didn't have a driver!"
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Sixes and Sevens
Why is six afraid of seven?

Because, already, seven ate nine (7, 8, 9)!
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Churchill's Nap
A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking.

She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?"

Churchill sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."
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Yuma Puma
There once was a man from Yuma,

Who told an elephant joke to a puma,

Now his body lies,

Under the hot desert skies,

For the puma had no sense of huma.
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Car Accident
One day, while Maynard was out driving his car, he ran into a truck. The truck's driver made him pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

The truck driver took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told Maynard to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, the truck driver went over to Maynard's car and slashed the tires.

Maynard started laughing.

This made the truck driver angrier so he smashed Maynard's windshield.

This time Maynard laughed even harder.

Livid, the truck driver broke all Maynard's windows and keyed his car.

Maynard was now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks him what's so funny.

Maynard giggled and replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
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Lost an Ear
There where two men in a bulding site. One of them said, "Can you help me find my ear"

The other man said, "Is this it"

The first man replied, "No, mine has got a pencil behind it"
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Strudel
An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man in is a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: "I must be dreaming of heaven! I smell your grandmother's strudel!"

"No, grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother is baking strudel now."

"I know I will never have another taste of her delicious strudel after this one. Could you please go down and get me a piece?", the old man begs with what is left of his final breath.

One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old man's last request. After a long time, he returns empty-handed.

"Did you bring me one last piece of your grandmother's delicious strudel?" the old man plaintively queries.

"I'm very sorry, grandfather, but she says it's for the funeral."
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Tenure
The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain any more so it eats it.

It's rather like getting tenure.
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Funny?? I think we'll do a second installment later today, with perhaps a little "funnier" ones than these;)

Take Care!!